


All of me

by zation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Cheating Dean, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean has real musical talent, Dean is not Happy, Dean needs some friends, Dean thought he was straight, Demisexual Dean Winchester, Desperate love confessions, Dirty Talk, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, High School Football, Homophobic John Winchester, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jock Dean, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lisa is not nice, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Angst, Music Teacher Castiel, Music is important y'all, Mutual Pining, Older Castiel, Openly Gay Castiel, Pining, Prompt Fic, Protective Castiel, Student Dean, Supportive Sam, Tattooed Castiel, Teacher Castiel, Teacher-Student Relationship, Though he probably doesn't know that, Top Castiel, Virgin Dean, Younger Dean Winchester, emotional cheating, minor hurt/comfort, this was supposed to be a PWP what happened?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 18:12:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12415320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: Original prompt:Cas is a music teacher who is openly gay, has a tattoo over his ribs and gets on well with most of his students. He’s also good friends with Pamela Barnes. Dean is a student who’s just turned 16, he’s captain of the football team and dating the head cheerleader Lisa, who is kinda a bitch. What most people don’t know is that Dean isn’t just another dumb jock, he's actually really smart, cares a lot about his little brother and has an amazing singing voice and real talent with the guitar. The problem is John hates Cas because he’s gay and doesn’t think music is anything his sons should or would be interested in but when Dean gets into trouble for something he’s made to join Cas’ after school class where he makes friends with Charlie Bradbury and twins Max and Alicia Banes (realizing that his friends on the football team kinda suck) and is forced to spend time alone with Cas (discovering why Lisa doesn’t really do it for him)Or,The one where a lot of students have had crushes on Castiel but he’s of course never crushed back, until now.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CasDean55](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasDean55/gifts).



> When I read this prompt I was all like "yay for sexy teacher/student PWPs" but as I started writing it took a life of it's own and it's starting to look less like a PWP...  
> I hope you'll like it anyway! Strap in, next stop Denialville!
> 
> Also, everyone needs to take a moment to send out love to my Beta, BeeCas, who totally does too much for me and beta'd this with too short notice even though she's swamped with really important stuff. Without her this wouldn't be possible!
> 
> And as Always, thank you my prompter, who chose me out of everyone <3
> 
> UPDATE: this fic is now available in [Italian](https://efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3728152&i=1)! All translation related questions and cred goes to the wonderful [Dreamer_Vampire](https://efpfanfic.net/viewuser.php?uid=554984), thank you so much honey! <3

 

 

“Do you think it’s in bad taste that we’re celebrating me finally getting a teaching job at Lawrence High with a glass of wine?” Castiel swirls the blood red wine in his glass, looking at his best friend with the kind of seriousness that only comes after a few glasses. Pam looks like he’s grown a second head. “Considering Meg had to quit because she had to go to rehab.” He takes a sip. “On account of her alcoholism.”

The smile Pam gives him can only be described as _wicked_. “I think it’s delectable.”

Pam has never really liked Meg, most probably because Meg, unlike most women, wouldn’t stop sniffing after Castiel even after he had politely declined her and explained that he’s in fact so flamingly gay he’s unsure how he hasn’t caught fire yet. Pam has very little patience for people who can’t take no for an answer and has had to save Castiel on more than one occasion.

“You’re deplorable.” He laughs and nudges her shoulder.

They’re sitting closely entangled on her couch, the coffee table littered with snacks Pam had promised she wouldn’t eat until they had at least shared a bottle first. Well, they’re almost two bottles in so Castiel doesn’t think it matters that she’s already eaten all the bacon chips.

“True.” She grins. “But you love me anyway.”

He does, by God does he love her. A lot of his friends distanced themselves from him when he came out as gay, his parents didn’t kick him out exactly but near enough. They don’t really speak anymore and Castiel hasn’t been home even for Christmas in five years. The only ones from his family that he still speaks regularly to is his big brother Michael, because Michael simply found it far too time-consuming to hate Castiel for liking dick, and his cousin Gabriel who also works at Lawrence High and who was the one to introduce Castiel to Principal Adler in the first place.

Pamela Barnes, on the other hand, has stood by him through thick and thin, which in a way is as surprising to Castiel as it is comforting. Pam was his high school sweetheart and he didn’t figure out that he was gay until he simply _couldn’t_ do anything sexual with her. It was awful admitting it but Pam had taken it in stride and she’s been his best friend and constant companion ever since.

“Of course I do but that doesn’t make you not deplorable.”

“I think you mean pleasant, the opposite of deplorable in this case is pleasant.”

Castiel pokes out his tongue at her like the mature 25-year-old he is, which of course only makes her laugh. Perhaps they should lay off the wine for a moment.

“Shut up.” He chuckles. “I’m teaching Music, not English.”

She giggles. “Weren’t you subbing in English for a while too?”

“And History.” He grumbles. “Music’s the best, though.”

“Oh!” she practically bounces off the couch, making him almost spill his wine. “I got you something to celebrate.”

She comes back with a small box, the kind you’d have a ring in, but instead of a ring it’s a guitar pick with the initials _C.N._ done in swirling letters. He smiles dopily at her and reels her in for a wet kiss and a crushing hug. She wriggles and laughs and Castiel’s the happiest he’s been in a long time.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean is sweating like a pig by the time Coach Singer calls an end to practice for today. It’s in Dean’s opinion way too fucking hot for a late afternoon in September and when he finally removes his helmet his hair is drenched in sweat and he’s totally grossed out by himself.

Looking over at left field he can see the cheerleaders just wrapping up their practice as well and he bets that none of them is as disgusting as him. It makes him think about his girlfriend Lisa Braeden and that makes him grin. Wouldn’t mind seeing her sweating a bit, to be honest.

He has to look away before he’s caught staring like an idiot. Dean might be the captain of the junior varsity team, on his way on becoming a varsity team player, and dating the head cheerleader but he’s still just a sophomore. There are a _lot_ of juniors and seniors who think he’s not “good enough” for Lisa and he’d rather not attract unnecessary attention.

Instead he turns his attention to trotting back to the sidelines where he left his water bottle. Mr. Turner, the P.E. teacher, is there and yelling at Alastair and a few others from the varsity team for mucking up practice but from the looks of it they’re not really listening. Not unusual, considering Coach Singer is the actual coach and Mr. Turner just helps out his friend with coaching the junior varsity team. It’s a lot of work for Coach Singer having two teams and so co-coach and Dean doesn’t mind Mr. Turner helping out but not everyone thinks he’s got the right to butt in at varsity practice.

Dean doesn’t want to interrupt — Alastair already doesn’t like Dean for some reason — but he feels bad for not saying goodbye to Mr. Turner. Coach Singer joins the argument just as Dean’s leaving and the last he hears is the old man concluding with finality that “you’re on a slippery slope, Alastair, there’re a lot of good players out there to take your place if you’re done with football”.

Alastair blows up but Dean doesn’t hear much of it because he slips into the welcome shade of the bleachers and then he’s on his way to the locker room.

“Good hustle.” Gordon Walker says when Dean joins most of the teams in the locker room. Gordon’s on the junior varsity team with Dean and he _sucks_ at catching the ball.

“Yeah.” Dean agrees casually even though he kind of wants to say something about a lot of the players in his team. But the junior team is mostly for fun here at Lawrence High so he lets a lot slide. “You guys are totally gonna crush at the next game.” He says instead, deflecting the attention to the older players.

Jesse Cuevas, a player on the varsity team, snorts so hard Dean expects him to spit snot.

“Maybe if we’d get rid of Alastair.”

“Jesse.” One of the other players mutters warningly.

“What? Jackass shows up late for practice almost every time. Some of us need scholarships to get to college.”

“You can still get it.” Gordon says in what sounds like an uncharacteristically upbeat tone. “Just stop being a goddamn pussy out on the field.”

Dean leaves that fight too, all too unwilling to engage in anything that can get him in trouble. And this is the problem for him. He _loves_ playing football, it’s fun, he gets praised a lot and dad likes him doing it so it makes for an easy topic at home. But the guys on the teams are just so goddamn full of testosterone or some shit. Sammy warned him but fuck, Dean just wanted to play some goddamn ball.

“Should’ve joined the wrestling team.” He mutters as he enters the shower stall the furthest away from the locker room and the squabbling in there.

Except wrestling isn’t as much fun and dad always made fun of “those pillow biters” so it was either football or baseball for Dean. He kind of wishes he hadn’t missed tryouts for the baseball team when he first came to Lawrence High because he thinks it looks like the baseball team is much nicer but he’s committed to football now and dad doesn’t like quitters.

Dean keeps his shower short and to the point, feeling the adrenaline of practice still coursing through his body and knowing all too well what that means. But he can’t very well jerk off in the showers here at school with two full football teams all around him, can he?

More and more of them have trickled in now and almost all of the stalls are occupied with naked dudes soaping up. Looking around there’s definitely way too much sausage and Dean scrunches up his face. Lisa’s perhaps outside or maybe she’s texted him where to meet her so Dean should just hurry the fuck up and get out of here so he can hang out with his beautiful senior girlfriend already.

Dean still doesn’t know why she wanted to go out with him in the first place but when the most popular and beautiful girl in school walks up to you and promptly tells you to become her boyfriend you don’t say no. Really, who would say no? Dean certainly didn’t.

Lisa’s not just beautiful, she’s rich too, and she enjoys buying Dean things, always dragging him to the mall and dressing him up. It makes him feel treasured and not at all like a pet like Sammy has said, where the fuck had that even come from? Sammy’s way too mouthy for a 12-year-old.

On his way out of the shower he notices several of the guys sporting semis and it makes him blush but hey, it’s just the adrenaline, right? Good to know that everyone experiences it and not just him. Just maybe wishes he hadn’t had to see it because who wants to look at another dude’s junk? Well, outside of BJ porn, Dean guesses, but even then he’s mostly looking at the dick because it’s right there in the middle of the beautiful girl’s face and Dean’s imagining it’s his dick she’s sucking.

 

 

Lisa takes Dean to the mall and though it’s not very surprising it’s kind of boring. Dean supposes it’s fine, at least Lisa buys him food so he won’t have to deal with dad’s crappy cooking. He sends off a quick text to Sammy, warning him that he’ll be eating alone with dad and by the lack of response he knows his little brother is sulking.

They meet Bela, Amara, and Roy at the mall after they — mostly Dean because Lisa’s watching her calories — have eaten and Dean’s mood sours. He doesn’t like Roy or Amara very much and Lisa knows this but she’s outright told him that she doesn’t care so he does his best to hide his frowning.

But it’s difficult with Roy calling him a jock meathead and with Amara and her weird staring. It’s bordering on creepy and when Dean told Lisa that one time she told him Amara likes him so Lisa likes to flaunt their relationship in her “friend’s” face. Girls are weird.

“Oh my God, Dean.” Lisa practically squeals in his ear and Dean’s whole body jolts when she pulls on his arm. She’s much stronger than she looks. “They’ve put up an old-time picture booth.”

“Lame.” Bela snorts and continues walking.

“So _not_ lame.” Lisa says snippily and pulls Dean over to it.

The others either shake their heads or shrug and Dean and Lisa are left alone to enter the booth. It looks like the ones in old high school movies but it’s altogether too clean to be that old.

“A dollar?” he asks and thumbs the slot for the money. For a couple of pictures? That seems like a lot but Lisa is already feeding the machine and then Dean’s suddenly got his lap full of his girlfriend.

He takes care not to grunt about the extra weight because he’s done that exactly once and don’t fancy another bitch-fit. It isn’t even that Lisa is heavy, just that she likes to surprise him by practically jumping into his lap and crushing his balls.

They manage to get into position just in time for the camera to go off and then they’re making out for the photos. Dean’s hyper-aware that they’re in the mall but Lisa doesn’t seem to care whatsoever. She grabs his short hair, pulls his head the way she likes it and practically shoves her tongue down his throat.

Okay, that didn’t sound fair, Lisa’s actually a good kisser but Dean can’t get into it with the public setting. Not that he’s gonna say something of course because what boy doesn’t want some heavy make-out action?

By the time she sneaks a hand down to his crotch the camera has long since finished and Dean’s thankful for it when she pulls out of the kisses to give him a frown.

“Not even a semi? Jesus fuck, Dean.”

“What?”

She huffs and climbs off his lap, throws her silky hair over one shoulder. “You’re making out with the hottest girl in school, who also happens to be your _girlfriend_ and you can’t even bother to get hard?”

Yeah, when she says it like that it sounds weird but he’s just not into sex at the mall with only a flimsy piece of cloth hiding them. But he supposes she won’t take that for an excuse so instead he stands up too and pulls her into a sweet kiss.

“I had to rub one out after practice.” He murmurs against her lips. “Saw you out on the field and I couldn’t hold it, forgive me?”

She buys the lie so easily Dean considers lying for a living. “Well,” she smirks and puts her arms around his neck, carding her hands through his hair. “Guess I can’t fault you for that.”

He smiles back but they’re interrupted when the cloth is ripped to the side and they’re met with the sight of a thoroughly unimpressed Amara. See, this was why Dean wasn’t into making out, okay?

“Are you done fucking?”

“Oh grow up.” Lisa sighs and takes Dean’s hand to lead him out of the booth.

The wander around for a while before stopping at a smoothie place. Both Dean and Roy refuse to have a smoothie but they sit with the girls and Dean spends most of the time people watching while the others gossip about people from school.

Across the smoothie bar is a book store and Dean is weirded out when he recognizes the man talking to a store employee as his Music teacher Mr. Novak. It’s so odd seeing teachers outside of school but yeah, Dean supposes they have lives too.

Mr. Novak looks happy, talking as enthusiastically as ever with the smiling employee. Mr. Novak uses his hands a lot when he’s talking and Dean likes that, it makes it easier to listen. Their last Music teacher had been a grumpy woman who absolutely refused to let them play the instruments until they had gotten to “know” them. Dean doesn’t miss her even though he feels bad for not feeling sorry for her, being in rehab and everything.

Mr. Novak is a much better teacher, though, and Dean wishes they had him in other subjects too. He’s been a substitute teacher up until now and Dean once had him fill in for Mr. Crowley in History class and it was _awesome_. When Mr. Novak talks it’s like he’s painting a picture in Dean’s mind. Everyone in class agreed that Mr. Novak made History sound like an interesting story. Mr. Crowley just drones on about specific dates.

“Look, it’s McDreamy.” Bela suddenly says and it makes Dean realize he’s been staring at Mr. Novak this whole time. He quickly looks away and hopes no one noticed.

“McDreamy, really?” Roy snorts and Bela slaps him on the arm. Dean agrees with Roy, though, he’s always hated that nickname because it makes him think about Patrick Dempsey and Mr. Novak looks much better than him. Like, in general, like in a general observational way.

“What? He’s hot.” Lisa says as if Dean isn’t sitting right there. Like, sure, he knows he’s nothing compared to Mr. Novak so he won’t argue but still…

“He’s also _super gay_.” Roy enunciates the last two words in an annoying way and everyone around the table — Dean included — rolls their eyes at him. “He is.” Roy says, totally affronted.

“We _know_.” Bela say with a sneer. “Doesn’t mean we can’t ogle his perfect ass, right girls?”

The other two hum appreciatively and openly stare at Mr. Novak, which feels a little rude to Dean.

“You should totally ask if he’s seeing someone, Roy.” Amara says with an evil smirk, all sudden-like.

The other two girls laugh and Roy chokes on his spittle.

“Me?” he nearly yells and Dean’s worried Mr. Novak will hear them. He seems to still be engaged in the conversation he’s having, though. Dean kind of feels sorry for the store employee if she thinks he’s talking this much to her because he’s interested in her. She’s smiling a lot and even touched his arm at one point. “Send fucking nancy boy over here to do it.”

“The fuck?” Dean says with much more surprise than he wanted to. Roy’s words are mean and sting and Dean wanted to sound growly but ended up sounding squeaky. “Where’d that come from?”

“Aw c’mon.” Roy grins. “Judging by his last boyfriend you’re much more his type.”

“As if.” Lisa snorts, much to Dean’s relief. “Dean’s much more loyal than that.” Okay, kind of made him sound like a dog there — Sam’s _not_ right — but it still feels good that she came to his defense and he’s desperate to take the attention off of him. Where the hell had Roy even gotten such an idea?

“More loyal than what?”

“You know,” Roy rolls his hand as if Dean’s supposed to get wherever he’s talking about just from that but when it’s obvious that he doesn’t Roy just snorts out a laugh. “Fuck, I always forget that you’re younger than us.”

Dean’s the only sophomore in this group.

“It probably happened before you got to Lawrence High, darling.” Lisa says sweetly. “Mr. N was dumped because his boyfriend wanted to get married or something.”

“No…” Roy says slowly. “I think Mr. N was the one who wanted to get married?”

“You’re both wrong.” Bela says with an air of superiority. “My dad was neighbors with Mr. N’s boyfriend and I was there when they broke up.” She practically wriggles in her seat, obviously pleased with the attention they’re giving her. Dean glances at Mr. Novak but the man is still too far away to hear them. “So Mr. N and this guy had been going out for a long while, like more than a year, and then they had a, I dunno,” she looks thoughtful. “Not break per say, it sounded more like they hadn’t been able to meet up for a while because of work. Anyway, Mr. N came to visit after not having seen his boyfriend for like two months or something and it turned out the guy had gotten hitched.”

“What?” Dean frowns as an unsettling feeling spreads in his chest.

“Yeah.” Bela says with a nod, obviously misinterpreting Dean’s expression for curiosity. “And get this, he’s married to a _woman_ , because his family doesn’t approve of him being gay or some shit and he didn’t want to lose his inheritance.”

Amara nods as if she gets that. Dean feels a little sick.

“What happened?” he asks in a low tone. “Something must’ve happened for people at school to know about it.”

Unless Bela was being a blabbermouth about it, she’s kind of got that reputation anyhow.

“Well, the boyfriend was all like ‘don’t be mad babe, I still love you, I’m only married on paper, we can still have sex and stuff’.” Bela scrunches up her nose. “It was kinda disgusting and Mr. N was not having it, he was like ‘don’t contact me, we’re through’ and I thought that was awesome.”

The others nod, some with more conviction than others.

“Anyway, he came to school.” Lisa interrupts, turning to Dean and smirking about being the one to tell him. Bela gives Lisa a bitch-face for doing that but doesn’t say anything. Lisa is after all the de facto leader of the three girls.

“Who?” Dean asks dumbly and Lisa rolls her eyes at him.

“The boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that.” Roy says in an amused tone. “It was just before the Easter holidays and it was _hilarious_.”

“It doesn’t sound so funny.” Dean mumbles and Roy shrugs.

“Maybe not the thing but—okay just listen.” He leans on the table, obviously pleased to be part of the story now. Bela looks even surlier. “So you know how the Home Economics teacher is Mr. N’s cousin, right?” Dean nods because yeah, it’s not so hard to figure out that they’re at least related when they share a fairly uncommon last name. “Yeah, so the boyfriend came to school and spouted something stupid about Mr. N not answering his calls or opening his door but that he at least knew where Mr. N worked and now he couldn’t escape the talk they needed to have. And Mr. N _really_ didn’t want to so his cousin fucking went and threatened the boyfriend to stay away, right in his face out in the quad, in front of like half the school. It was _awesome_.”

Okay, that actually kind of sounds awesome. And Mr. Novak’s cousin is so short it had to have looked funny if the ex-boyfriend was even remotely close to Mr. Novak’s height.

“Did he get mad?”

“No.” Roy shakes his head, leaning back in his seat again. “That’s the thing, no one really heard the exact words but he had to have said something fucking terrifying because the guy just turned white and practically fled. People were like booing him out too, without even knowing what it was about.”

“Well, he was talking smack about Mr. N, wasn’t he? He’s pretty popular around school, for a teacher.” Lisa says in an oddly conclusive tone.

“I suppose.” Roy shrugs.

Dean looks back into the book store but finds that Mr. Novak is nowhere to be seen now. It feels wrong to be talking about him behind his back but Dean supposes what they have said isn’t too bad. His friends were just telling him about something that happened before his time, is all.

“Well good for him.” Dean mumbles. “He’s lucky to have good friends if his boyfriends turn out to be assholes like that.”

“Definitely.” Lisa says with a smile and takes his hand in hers. It’s smaller and feels smoother to the touch than his.

“I agree that it’s sad how it happened but did he really expect anything else?” Amara says then, the first she’s spoken about this matter. Dean turns a frown on her, not really following.

“He should have expected to be cheated on?”

Amara rolls her eyes. “I’m just saying being gay is fine and all but it can’t work out in the long run, can it? Can’t really have a long-term relationship like that, right?”

Dean feels even more confused when Roy nods along. “What are you talking about? Kansas has legalized same-sex marriage.”

Amara shrugs. “Sure, but it’s still _weird_.”

The only thing weird here is how this topic makes Dean feel. Suddenly he kind of wants to go home to Sammy because for some reason it feels as if he would get more out of a conversation with his 12-year-old brother than these people.

He doesn’t say that, though, and he doesn’t leave either, because Lisa would be mad and it would look strange if he did. Instead he stays out so late with them that dad yells at him when he gets home and Sam’s already asleep. The sheets in Dean’s bed feel scratchy and he can’t sleep for a long time, imagining his girlfriend marrying behind his back and how that would make him feel.

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, class,” Castiel claps his hands together and smiles out at the young faces of his sophomore class. Most of them look either bored or politely attentive but there are a few who actually like this class and he’s happy for the few. “I know we’re almost done for today and you’re all eager to go to your next class.” He smiles indulgently at their collective groaning. “But I have something to say first.”

He turns to the board and starts writing, smirking evilly to himself when there’s another, deeper groan as he spells out the word _ASSIGNMENT_. He’s definitely way too sadistic to be allowed to be a teacher.

“C’mon, we already have to like write an essay or some shit about painters or whatever for Art class, it sucks.” Gordon Walker complains in a tone way too whiny for someone his size.

Castiel turns back to the class and puts his hands on his hips. “Is that so?”

“ _Yes_.” Kelly Kline sighs and stretches out over her bench like a dying animal. “Art is supposed to be fun but Mrs. Allen always makes us do boring stuff.”

Castiel smiles because he knows Daphne Allen very well and knows she can be difficult in the eyes of the students.

“I think an essay of your favorite artist sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Of course _you_ would say that.” Gordon grumps. “You’re a teacher. We even have to like, replicate some of their work or whatever.”

Castiel raps his fingers against his hips for a moment while he contemplates if the lack of enthusiasm is a problem stemming from the students’ interests or the school system. Either way sounds horrible.

“Honestly this seems like the perfect opportunity for you to be creative.” He says instead, intent on helping any student who comes to him with a problem, any problem. “Did Mrs. Allen specify what kind of painter or artist? What kind of genre or era?” there’s a collective shaking of heads and Castiel feels a wicked grin spread across his face. “Well then, let’s take some time to identify an artist, which in this case could be anyone dealing with paintings or drawings or sculptures, am I right?” they nod and he turns to the board to erase what he had previously written. “What is a medium a lot of younger people enjoy? Anyone?” they stare dumbly at him for a moment and Castiel mourns today’s creative youths.

“Movies?” Kevin Tran eventually pipes up and Castiel points at him, startling him a little.

“Right. And can anyone tell me a genre of movies that have blossomed in the last decade, one that is tightly connected with drawing.” He stands poised with his pen hovering over the board, prepared to spell it out for them.

“Superhero movies?”

It’s said so low that Castiel almost doesn’t catch it but catch it he does and he beams at Dean Winchester, the quietest one in the room. Dean’s football friends snort at his suggestion but Castiel catches Dean’s eyes and sees that Dean understands that he’s right even before Castiel writes it down in the board.

“Superhero movies.” Castiel confirms with a grin. “Superheroes are born from comic books, right? And what are comic books if not drawings? Dean, tell me a hero you like to read about.”

Dean sinks in his seat when his friends chuckle, probably at him being singled out by the teacher and Castiel doesn’t like that. Dean was the only one in the room who understood where Castiel was going and it deserves attention, not ridicule.

“Batman.” He eventually mumbles and Gordon Walker laughs outright at his choice.

“Damn Winchester, at least pick a superhero who’s actually _super_. Picking a fucking normal human of all things.”

“Language, Walker.” Castiel admonishes and Gordon quiets down. “And Batman is an excellent choice, isn’t he? The hero who fights _even though_ he doesn’t have superpowers, I personally think that sounds much braver than Superman. Now,” he taps the board. “Who made Batman? Who’s the main artist? Research him or her, do your essay on that.”

“When I was little I liked _Sailor Moon_.” Kelly says then, making Gordon howl with laughter.

“Shut up, Walker.” Castiel says in a conversational tone and it makes everyone quiet down. Teachers aren't supposed to swear so Castiel finds it effective from time to time. “ _Sailor Moon_ was a Japanese cartoon, wasn’t it?” he asks and Kelly nods, seemingly completely unaffected by Gordon’s antics. “That’s perfect then, diversity shows you’ve really been thinking outside the box. As long as the teacher doesn’t put restrictions on their assignments you should feel free to be creative.”

“She’s gonna be putting a heck of a lot of restrictions on her next assignment.” Garth Fitzgerald, a lanky kid sitting next to Kevin says with a grin. “This is perfect Mr. N.”

The class agrees unanimously and Castiel feels accomplishment in his work as a teacher.

“Now for my assignment.” He says then, chuckling at their pinched expressions. “No essays, I swear. I’m simply interested in you, I would like you to pick out a song that has impacted you in some way.”

“Like a favorite song?” Kelly asks and Castiel shrugs aloofly.

“I personally think that having an absolute favorite song forever and ever is insane. There are so many out there and a great deal of them are perfect in their own ways. No, what I want is for you to pick out a song that means something to you.” He smiles as he thinks of his own choice selection. “It can be a song you really hate, the song that played the first time you kissed someone, literally _anything_. Pick a song that matters to you and give us a short introduction as to why while we play it next week. Not the worst assignment, right?”

They practically applaud him and he starts thinking it’s too easy of an assignment but hey, they’re only in High School and he’s known for being laid-back. He honestly feels that helping them with their Art assignment was the biggest win of today.

The bells rings not much later and as the students file out of his room Castiel is tempted to stop Dean Winchester and ask him, well anything. Ask him about his day. Dean is always very quiet in Castiel’s classes and sure, he’s only had his own class for barely six weeks and it’s maybe not the most serious class he’s ever taught so maybe Dean’s behavior isn’t something to linger on. Castiel just didn’t like how Dean’s friends laughed at him and how the teen had responded to their teasing.

But Dean walks out of the classroom without even looking back over his shoulder so Castiel drops the subject, for now.

 

* * *

 

Dad is working on his beat up pick-up truck when Dean comes home from school, dad’s beautiful Impala kicked to the curb to make room for the truck on the driveway.

Dean contemplates just walking past and not mentioning what he’s been thinking about but he’s _really_ been thinking and he wants to ask. Mr. Novak’s assignment in class hasn’t been taken seriously by any of Dean’s friends but Dean kind of wants to do his best. Mr. Novak is such a nice teacher and Dean likes how seen he makes Dean feel.

He’s been thinking about what song to choose for almost a week now but can really only think of one, problem is he can’t remember the name of it and Sam proved utterly useless when he asked. And it’s not like Dean’s gonna ask his friends. He supposes he could Google the lyrics but he isn’t even certain he remembers them correctly. Maybe it’s a stupid choice if he can barely remember it…

“Hey dad?”

Dad grunts something and Dean hears a clanking sound. He’s bent over the engine and Dean rounds the upturned hood with trepidation. Dad sometimes gets _mad_ when he’s working on their cars. He looks pretty normal, though, no pumping veins so far.

“Do you remember the name of that song mom used to sing for me? It was a Beatles song.”

Dad frowns down at the seal he’s fiddling with. “Why you wanna know?”

Damnit, Dean had hoped dad would just answer the question. “It’s for school.” He says as nonchalantly as he can, hoping to make it sound trivial. Dad grunts as if he wants more information so Dean’s adds: “Music class, we’re supposed to pick an influential song and play it or whatever.”

“Figures.” Dad snorts. Dean grits his teeth and looks away, knowing very well how his father feels about Castiel Novak and what merit he puts in the man’s teachings. “Why would you chose a song like that? Pick one of your favorite songs instead. You like Van Halen, right?”

“I guess.” Dean mumbles.

“Just pick one of their hits. [Eruption](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCwigPhpiXs), that guitar solo is legendary.”

Dean thinks about suggesting [Hot for Teacher](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M4_Ommfvv0) instead just to be a dick but doesn’t feel like fucking up dad’s good mood. Also, what a weird thought.

“Maybe I should.” He says evasively. “But what Beatles song was it anyway?” he deserves to know, mom used to sing it all the time before she died, instead of lullabies.

Dad is quiet for a long moment before he bends over the engine again, probably to tighten the seal over whatever valve it belongs to.

“ _Hey Jude_.” He mutters then and Dean gets the feeling that he wanted to hide his face when he answered the question. Dean’s cool with that and leaves with a mumbled _“Thanks”_.

 

 

It’s two days later when they’re supposed to present their choice for the class and Dean still hasn’t decided which song to play. He spends most of the class in a haze, making up pros and cons in his head and wonders fruitlessly why he bothers so much with it.

Most of the other students play their favorite song of the week, Kelly plays the song she heard on the radio just before she learned that she was going to be a big sister. Gordon plays [Crazy Frog](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE) and earns himself a strained smile from Mr. Novak.

Kevin gets laughed at for choosing Beethoven’s [Sonata no. 14](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU), not so much for his choice but because of his stumbled explanation that it’s the only music his mom allows in their house. Dean feels bad for him, on a number of levels.

“Now, now.” Mr. Novak says as Kevin slinks back to his seat, beet red in the face. “There’s a reason it’s called Classis Music and it’s not because it’s bad. Besides, remember this?” he taps the board where he’s written _THERE ARE NO WRONG CHOICES_ in big red letters. It makes Dean feel better when he’s called to the front of the classroom.

Mr. Novak stands to Dean’s right as Dean sits down in front of the teacher’s computer and stares at the cursor blinking in Spotify’s search field. Mr. Novak talks about the classics but Dean can barely hear him. He starts typing _Van Halen_ but it feels weird when the search results pop up.

He glances over his shoulder at the text on the board. Mr. Novak suddenly steps up to him and puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder smiling softly down at him. Dean’s never really noticed before but Mr. Novak has very nice hands. Strong but not suffocating.

“Find what you were looking for?”

Actually, no.

“Just a sec.” Dean mumbles and searches for [Hey Jude](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8ACNty077I) instead, scrolling through his options until he finds one he thinks will sound right.

Almost immediately as the song starts playing Dean hears Gordon snort and he hunches down on the chair, trying to hide behind the laptop.

“Ah, Beatles.” Mr. Novak says fondly and squeezes Dean’s shoulder slightly. “What a great choice, take a moment to listen to the lyrics everyone.”

The class sits mostly quiet and Dean gets a little lost in memory hearing the song. Mom had sung it a little differently but the words are all right and he feels a bit choked up remembering how she had patted his head while singing in a low tone until he fell asleep.

The song is kinda long but Dean doesn’t mind sitting up there for the whole thing. At one point Mr. Novak squats down beside Dean and it makes him calmer that the man remained by his side instead of talking to the class like he had done during the other songs.

“This is beautiful, Dean.” He murmurs, perhaps so that no one else will hear. Dean decides to pretend that. “What made you chose it? It’s quite the leap from Van Halen.”

Dean feels his ears burn. “My mom used to sing this to me. Before, um, before she died.”

Mr. Novak startles him by putting a hand on his knee. Dean is glad that they’re hidden behind Mr. Novak’s big desk or Dean would never live this down, not with the way Gordon is so quick to jump on the gay bullying. It feels nice, though, Mr. Novak’s hand. Warm and big and comforting.

“I’m sorry for you loss.”

“It’s was long ago.” Dean shrugs because that’s what he’s taught himself to do.

“You know,” Mr. Novak says in an almost conspiratorial tone. “Aside from you I don’t think anyone really understood this assignment, or at least if they did they didn’t bother with it. I’m pretty generous with doling out passing grades but if you really put your mind to it there’s better grades to be had, even in Music.” He stands up and pats Dean’s on his shoulder. “You did well today, Dean.”

The praise washes over Dean like something warm, something he didn’t know he wanted but now kind of craves.

“Thanks, Mr. N.” He mumbles and hopes he isn’t really blushing even though it certainly feels like it.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for liking this so far! I love you more than words can express <3

 

 

“Do you know Dean Winchester?”

Gabriel nods and thankfully swallows the food in his mouth before he starts talking. They’re only having a quick dinner in Castiel’s house but still, Castiel appreciates table manners.

“I have him in one of my sophomore Home Economics classes.” Gabriel helps himself to some more wine.

Castiel hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Dean and his choice for the song assignment. There were other students who had chosen songs with deep connections to them but Castiel had seen the struggle in Dean and that, more than the actual song or the reason, was what struck him and it’s that that he can’t let go.

Obviously a song like _Hey Jude_ doesn’t fit with Dean’s otherwise rather macho appearance and he had no doubt had to endure loads of mocking for his choice, most of which Castiel is sad to say probably came from Dean’s own friends. And yet he had chosen that song.

“Did you know his mother has passed?”

“I did not.” Gabriel continues eating while Castiel is just twirling pasta around his fork. “But that actually makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Gabriel actually makes an effort to wipe his mouth so Castiel feels like this may be important. “Sometimes in my classes I like to give the students assignments, most about living situations and economic problems. I want them to try and solve the problem by themselves and then we go over it in class to see what they could do better or what the pitfalls were. You know, so they’ll learn about mortgages and shit like that.”

“That’s…” Castiel blinks at his cousin. “That’s actually _really_ helpful.”

Gabriel grins at him. “And here you thought all I did was make the kids bake for me, gimmie a little credit Cassie.”

Castiel feels a bit ashamed that Gabriel might have out-taught him. Castiel loves music and everything it makes people feel but is it _really_ useful? He likes to think so and settles on simply being impressed by his cousin’s teaching skills.

“And you’ve done this with Dean’s class?”

“Several times.” Gabriel swipes his remaining pasta through the marinara sauce on his plate. “Most students think it’s fun, even though more than a few don’t even take it seriously. Dean always does, though.” He looks thoughtful for a moment. “While other students make great efforts Dean’s choices always seem so… I dunno, precise?”

Castiel suddenly feels sad. “As if he’s had to make them for real.”

“Yeah.” Gabriel nods and looks unusually somber. “I always thought it was funny but I guess he’s had to help out around the house, huh?”

“Maybe.” Castiel mumbles down at his own plate. He remembers Dean’s face as they listened to _Hey Jude_ and now he’s very happy he stayed by the teen’s side.

“You know,” Gabriel suddenly sounds extremely serious. Castiel tilts his head to the side. “I had forgotten but last year when I did this assignment I thought I would really test the class. They were just freshmen and I wanted to give them something really difficult to think about so I gave them a scenario where their salary was cut in half, they were a single parent and their kid had to go to the hospital for something… I think it was cancer.”

“Damn, Gabe.” Castiel mumbles, feeling a little stricken.

“No, listen, I wanted to teach them that life can be really shitty sometimes and I didn’t tell them but the goal of the assignment wasn’t to break even that month because it was basically impossible. The goal was to teach them that you can’t always succeed and that’s life too.”

“You designed a scenario where, what? Their kid dies?”

Gabriel laughs a little. “I was thinking that by the end they would come to me and be all like, ‘this is fucking impossible’ and then I would say ‘yes, exactly’. Some of them were creative, though, and while they didn’t break even they pretended that they had managed to get their rent pushed to the next month and stuff like that and I like that, thinking a little outside the box there.”

Castiel nods and starts eating again. “But most of them gave up?”

“Spectacularly so, yes. But you know who didn’t give up? Who not only pushed through but also made it work? Paid all his bills and the kid’s medical treatment and the whole shebang.”

Why does Castiel’s throat feel tight? “Dean?”

Gabriel snaps his fingers. “Dean Winchester. And do you know how?” Gabriel grins when Castiel only shakes his head. “He sold all of his belongings.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” Gabriel shakes his head, still grinning. “I has given them a rough sketch of their apartment and belongings and Dean took it upon himself to look up what he would get for stuff like that on Craigslist and he sold everything, except what was in the kid’s room. I think the only thing he saved for himself was the couch to sleep on and his phone so he could still call the hospital and work.”

Castiel sits back, struck with the mental image of it all. “And he broke even?”

“And then some.” Gabriel downs the last of his wine. “He wrote in the assignment that he would save what he had left over from that month for the next month because obviously he couldn’t trust his work. He also wrote that he was now actively searching for a second job.”

“He thought of all that and he’s just a kid.” Castiel blames the wine but damnit if he doesn’t feel incredibly touched.

Gabriel nods. “I asked him after I had graded the assignments where he would get the idea to do all that and he looked at me and told me he hopes any parents would do that for their child.”

“Stop.” Castiel mumbles and has to lean back in his chair. “I can’t listen to much more.”

“I know.” Gabriel says with a smile. “I was really touched too, I gave him an A just for that.”

“I almost want to give him an A for the song he chose for my assignment.” Castiel says with a smile of his own.

“Yeah, he’s got a certain charm, that Dean Winchester.” Gabriel laughs and Castiel can do nothing but agree.

“How come you haven’t told me about this?”

Gabriel shrugs. “Honestly I forgot about it, it was almost a year ago and it was during that gig you did with Pam and Ash’s band. Remember? You were away for like three months.” Of course Castiel remembers, it was simultaneously the worst and best time he’s had in a long while. “Plus I had a few things going on myself back then.”

Castiel makes a sympathetic face. “How are you and Kali now?”

Gabriel likes to play nonchalant when talking about the so-called love of his life, whom Castiel has always thought is a little stuck-up, but Castiel can see that his cousin is still sad over how everything had ended with his then-girlfriend.

“We’re on speaking terms, at least.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah.” Gabriel eyes the wine bottle, it still has some left in it but he apparently decides to leave it. “It was bound to happen anyway, it wasn’t like our break was _that_ bad.”

“Just a lot of resentment.” Castiel mutters because he can’t stop himself. Theirs had been the classic tale of love gone sour and unsaid emotions infecting a relationship. Nothing that couldn’t be worked out, Castiel supposes. Some people are simply better off as friends.

“And how’s Balthazar?”

There’s an imaginary stinging ache on Castiel’s left side where he had gotten a tattoo of a flaming phoenix after he and Balthazar broke up. Tattooing your ribs was the most painful of all places, the tattoo artist had told him and while Castiel hadn’t known if that was true he had welcomed the physical pain in that it dispelled the heart ache even for a second.

Gabriel always was defensive over his and Kali’s relationship so Castiel’s not the least surprised at the deflection. Still, it’s a low blow bringing up the man who basically tore out Castiel’s heart and spat on it.

“Not on speaking terms, if we put it like that.” He replies dryly. He’s long over Balth but he doesn’t appreciate Gabriel bringing him up nonetheless.

“You should get out there again, Cassie.” Gabriel says then and smiles so deviously that Castiel hardly can stay mad at him.

“Oh no.” He laughs and pours himself a new glass of wine, offering the last drops to Gabriel. “I’m _not_ going out with one of your weird friends.”

“Raphael’s not weird.” Gabriel sniffs indignantly and Castiel laughs at him.

“His name’s a Ninja Turtle.”

“Shallow blow, darling.” Gabriel snarks. “Especially considering _your_ name.”

“Point taken. He’s still the dullest person I’ve ever met.” Plus he sends out the vibes of a top and Castiel prefers to top himself. Then again, he shouldn’t judge people before getting to the bedroom; most people assume he’s a bottom because of his sweet nature. Nevertheless, Raphael is incredibly boring and Castiel chuckles when Gabriel laughs at his statement. “I mean, he’s handsome and all but does he _ever_ smile?”

“You know,” Gabriel pauses to fake-contemplate the question. “I think not, no.” Maybe they’re being mean but Castiel can’t help but laugh together with his cousin. “You know who I’d date if I could? Literally anyone on the cheerleading team.”

“Gabe!” Castiel exclaims, scandalized. “They’re _kids_.”

“Some of them are eighteen.” Gabriel grins. “And I mean, hot _damn_. Okay, so maybe not date but at least have sex with? Ah, I shouldn’t have chosen the teacher’s lonely path of temptation.” He muses and Castiel tries to stay scandalized but can’t because he knows that no matter how Gabriel might talk about it he wouldn’t ever hurt a child. It’s all in good fun.

“If you take the cheerleaders, I’ll take the football team.” He says and blames the wine on both his loose tongue how pleased he feels when Gabriel laughs again.

“Hell yeah you can have them, you’d have your pick of handsome guys there, wouldn’t you?”

“I sure would. Victor Henriksen, Mick Davies.” Castiel ticks off on his fingers. “Jesse Cuevas.”

“Dean Winchester.” Gabriel grins and Castiel’s hands falter.

“Him too.” He smiles. Him too, indeed.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s sweltering outside as Dean trudges down the walkway from Lisa’s house and he wishes dearly that the warm weather would give way for the crisp of fall soon.

He had worn the leather jacket dad got him last winter, trying to look nice for what he had thought would be a date but now he’s regretting it big time. The date had turned out to be Lisa having some people over to watch movies and suck faces while her parents are away and because he left early it’s still too hot for his jacket. It’s not like he’s gonna carry it like some douche, though.

He grits his teeth as he closes in on the bus stop at the end of Lisa’s street. If only dad had managed to fix up the truck Dean at least could have driven that but now he’s forced to take the bus. He had been tempted to ask for the Impala since it was for a date but dad is weirdly protective over her.

Dean sighs and puts his hands in his pockets. What a fucking date. He had just wanted some alone time with his girlfriend, is that too much to ask? Come to think of it, Dean can hardly remember a time Lisa has wanted to spend alone with him. Seems like there’s always some of her friends around them, or some of the jocks.

Not that Dean’s complaining per se but it would be nice not to have an audience every time he tries to make out with Lisa. He’s nervous enough as it is, being a virgin and dating her and all, but having other people ogling them doesn’t make it easier for him. And Lisa always gets so mad when he doesn’t manage to perform on her terms.

Voyeurism just isn’t his thing, no big deal. She’d gotten mad this time, though, hence him walking home early. He just hopes none of the others had noticed Dean’s dick’s lack of response or that Lisa will tell them. For now it probably just looks like Dean had to go home because of homework or some shit. Dean wishes he has a part-time job to blame.

When Dean arrives at the bus stop he notices the Banes twins sitting on the bench and his stomach clenches a little at the prospect at awkward conversations. Max and Alicia Banes are freshmen at Lawrence High and Dean doesn’t know them very well but he knows enough. Like how Alicia is very beautiful and Lisa hates her because of it and how Max wanted to try out for the JV football team but got so teased — bullied — by most of the guys on the team for “being a little fairy” that he simply didn’t show up for tryouts.

Dean’s always felt incredibly bad about that. He’s the captain of the JV team and he should have said something. But he doesn’t want stuff to get back to dad about how he defended a homo because the way dad speaks about Mr. Novak is enough to convince Dean that dad doesn’t like gay people. And maybe he let the guys hackle Max Banes because Dean hates stuff dad’s said but feels powerless to do anything about it.

Max seems like a nice guy, though, and Alicia is certainly beautiful but Dean doesn’t think that should be held against her. He stops a few feet from the bench and considers saying something. The twins have either not seen him or have chosen to ignore him because they just keep talking.

Dean hunches in on himself and thinks that maybe that’s for the best. Maybe he shouldn’t get involved anyway. He’s already got a girlfriend who’s mad at him, no need to risk a conversation that might give him an opportunity to put his foot in his mouth. Sometimes it feels like that’s all he’s good for and he’d rather avoid it.

Their bus anyhow arrives before Dean’s and he spends the rest of the time waiting alone. At one point Lisa texts him and tells him to make sure he’s got tomorrow off for a shopping spree and Dean really doesn’t feel like it because he had been looking forward to spending time with Sammy. But Lisa calls his relationship with his brother “dangerously codependent” and Dean doesn’t want to open that can of worms right now so he just texts her back, confirming a date.

He wonders with no small amount of bitterness whom else she might seem fit to invite this time.

 

 

“So that’s basically my plan.” Mr. Novak says and claps his hands together. “I wanted to call it an after school club or something like that but Principal Adler insisted it would be put down as ‘extracurricular activity’ so it can show on your college applications and I suppose he’s right.” Mr. Novak smiles kindly out at the class.

Dean is sitting in the back because there’s where Gordon and Cole from the football team wants to sit and Dean supposes he wants to sit with them. They’re both thoroughly bored with Mr. Novak’s club activity — which he spent almost ten minutes explaining would be nothing like _Glee_ — but Dean kind of likes it.

He’s not gonna join, of course not, because it clashes with his football practice on Tuesdays and because he simply doesn’t want to. He doesn’t like music _that_ much, not enough to want to try it himself. Mr. Novak lets them try instruments in class and that’s enough, really.

Also, Mr. Novak had mentioned that the club activity would include singing for those who wanted to and Dean’s _really_ doesn’t want to sing. He’s content to do what everyone else does and sing in the shower and nowhere else. He doesn’t care that Sam once told him he likes Dean’s singing, because singing is for girls. Unless you’re a rock star or something but Dean suspects Mr. Novak will want them to sing other stuff too.

Dean watches in silence as Mr. Novak takes questions about his club. He’s waving his hands in big arches as he emphasizes his points and Dean traces them with his eyes. Depending on how passionate Mr. Novak is about something he’s more or less lively. Once Dean had seen him in the hall, angry with Alastair and his goons and Mr. Novak had been eerily still then.

It still makes Dean shudder to think about the way Mr. Novak had squared his shoulders and stood his ground. Mr. Novak is so nice and smiley all the time it’s difficult to imagine him angry but holy hell, he had looked as if he was about to smite Alastair. It had been kind of hot, to be honest.

Dean sinks down in his seat when that thought comes unbidden to his mind. He peeks at Mr. Novak and feels shy for some reason. Might be that he’s remembering what it had felt like to have Mr. Novak’s hand on his knee because that had been unexpectedly nice, even nicer than when Lisa touches him.

He shifts in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable with his own thoughts. Thankfully the rest of the class is either too enrapt in Mr. Novak or too bored to pay much attention to anything, let alone Dean and his weird thoughts.

Maybe they’re not so weird, though? He thinks about it for a while. Dad has never been big on the touching, except for an occasional pat on the shoulder, and he certainly doesn’t dole out praise often. Maybe it had just felt nice because Mr. Novak had been saying nice things and patting Dean at the same time?

Except both Mr. Turner and Coach Singer does that all the time and when they do it, it only feels fatherly. There was nothing fatherly about how Dean felt when Mr. Novak touched him, or about how he’s been feeling ever since every time he thought about it.

Hold up. Dean frowns down at his desk. He hasn’t been thinking about it since it happened. Well, except for yesterday but that was only because Dean had mowed the lawn and only gotten a grunt from dad when he had at least wanted a “thank you”.

And yeah okay, maybe the day before that too when he’d gotten kicked out of Lisa’s house for not magically popping a boner when she wanted him to. Because honestly, Mr. Novak’s hand had felt _much_ better than—

Dean sits up straight when he realizes his mind’s gone to that place _twice_ in only a five-minute period. He’s lucky no one notices his jerky movements and he tries to calm down so he won’t call attention to himself but holy fuck, what the hell is wrong with him?

He squints at Mr. Novak and tries to decide whether he should be alarmed or not. Mr. Novak is handsome, but that’s just a purely aesthetic observation. He’s smart too but a lot of the teachers are smart, they’re _teachers_. He’s cooler than most of his colleagues, though, with perhaps the exception of his cousin so maybe that’s a trait that runs in his family? Or maybe he seems cooler because he’s younger than most of the teachers? Dean doesn’t know Mr. Novak’s exact age but he thinks the man is only about ten years older than Dean, if even that.

Yeah, he relaxes back in his seat, he just sees Mr. Novak as a cool guy, nothing weird about that. There’s this guy Benny Lafitte on the baseball team, Dean thinks he’s a junior, and he’s nice and cool too so there’s nothing weird to be thinking that about other guys, Dean thinks.

Like, if it was _only_ Mr. Novak that made Dean feel…

Feel what? Dean’s cheeks almost heat up when he thinks about Mr. Novak’s hand again and feels a trickle of arousal around his groin. He kind of wants to die.

“But what if we can’t make it on both Tuesdays and Thursdays?” Garth asks then and brings Dean back into what they’re talking about.

Mr. Novak smiles and was his smile always so dazzling? That’s absurd.

“That’s quite alright.” He says kindly. “I specifically asked Principle Adler to give me two time slots for those of you who want to join but might have other things planned, this way you can chose what day you attend. Or both of course, that would be the best.” He doesn’t wink per se but he does a little nod and Dean can see Kelly Kline titter behind her hand as if Mr. Novak had actually winked and just at her.

Dean frowns at her and thinks about what Mr. Novak said, football practice is almost every day of the week but not on Thursdays. Well, it doesn’t really matter since he’s not going but still, it’s an observation he made while glaring at Kelly.

“Well, if you have no further questions I think I’m done.” Mr. Novak glances up at the clock on the wall above the door. “But I see we still have ten minutes left and Principal Adler is already riding my ass about being too lenient.”

“I bet!” Cole hoots and several of the students laugh, including Mr. Novak. Dean looks down at his desk and tries not to picture it, to no avail when Mr. Novak speaks up.

“Ugh, can you imagine?” he fake-groans. “No thank you.”

The students laugh again, even though Cole looks a little put off that his jab didn’t have a negative effect on Mr. Novak. But that’s just how Mr. Novak is, he takes things like that in stride and perhaps that’s why the school eventually decided to hire him for real, even though several parents have tried to get him booted for being openly LGBT. Dean’s ashamed that his own dad has brought up this subject on several PTA meetings.

“Hey, as long as you’re keeping us for ten minutes, how ‘bout you play us a song _you_ like?” Garth suggests and Dean’s friends all groan as if that’s the lamest they’ve ever heard. Dean kind of wants to hear what Mr. Novak likes, though, so he keeps shut.

“A song I like?” Mr. Novak repeats with surprise.

“Yeah.” Kelly agrees with a big smile. “You made all of us pick a song that have impacted us, you should do the same.”

“I suppose…” Mr. Novak taps his chin in thought. He’s got very delicate fingers and Dean hates himself for remembering when the man had squeezed his shoulder, showing how strong his fingers actually are.

“And like _play_ -play it too.” Garth says with enthusiasm. Cole and Gordon have pulled out their phones and are playing with them.

“Play-play?” Mr. Novak laughs. “You want to hear _me_ sing?” he shakes his head but walks over to the cabinet where he keeps some of the instruments. Dean almost blushes — again! — when he realizes that he _really_ wants to hear Mr. Novak sing.

He’s played a lot of instruments with them before but never really sung above a low humming that feels way too pleasant to listen to.

He picks the guitar and Dean thinks he’s mentioned at one point that that’s his favorite instrument. He strums seemingly aimlessly for a while and then tunes the strings before playing a few accords haphazardly.

“Yes, okay.” He smiles from where he’s sitting, half leaned on his desk facing the students. Most of them are looking at him, Dean included. “I would like to play a love song that’s close to my heart. It’s a very direct message in it and I like it because I think it’s not just about love between lovers but also between family and friends. Depending on the situation, I think this song can help you any day.” He starts playing but then abruptly cuts off with an apologizing smile. “It’s Savage Garden’s [**_Crash and Burn_** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W60IPexop30)and my singing voice is not even close to Darren Hayes’ so bear with me.”

Dean doesn’t know the song, or the band, or the singer, but as soon as Mr. Novak starts singing Dean knows he’s fucked. The song is beautiful, kind of sad but at the same time hopeful, and while Dean doesn’t know how the song is “supposed” to sound he really loves what Mr. Novak does with it.

Mr. Novak has a very deep voice and at times Dean thinks the song goes higher in pitch — judging from what the guitar sounds like — but Mr. Novak is obviously well-acquainted with his own limitations and makes the song completely his own.

The room is completely quiet and Dean can’t tear his eyes off Mr. Novak. He’s… he’s fucking stupidly handsome and Dean’s fucked in the head but he feels aroused when Mr. Novak sings. Terrified of his bodily reactions, Dean squeezes his thighs together.

Why now? Why not when Lisa was all over him like a snake, suffocating him, kissing him, groping him? Why now when all Mr. Novak is doing is singing a stupid song?

And then Mr. Novak looks up and happens to meet Dean’s eyes head on. A jolt goes through Dean’s body and he can’t breathe.

“Oh.” He squeaks, too low for anyone to hear. _That’s_ why.

 

 

Practice has gone great lately and Dean kind of feels like football is the one thing he’s got under control so that feels nice. The JV team is really stepping up and even Gordon is slowly overcoming his case of butterfingers and is actually doing his part. As captain Dean feels more than proud as the day’s practice rolls to a close.

The JV team is in high spirits and Dean smiles along with them as they cross the field, Mr. Turner praising them in his grouchy tone. Yes, this feels much better, not at all confusing like Music class had been yesterday. And not like Dean has felt since.

It feels ridiculous that he could be crushing on Mr. Novak because for one, he’s dating someone, and second, Mr. Novak is a man. Dean’s not in love— _crushing_ on Mr. Novak, he’s in love with Lisa. Dean was probably just confused yesterday when Mr. Novak sang all that stuff about always catching him and being there for him and shit like that.

In any case Dean doesn’t want to think about it and football is the prefect distraction. Too bad the varsity team isn’t faring as well as the others. Cole snorts and elbows Dean in the side as they close in on Coach Singer ripping Alastair a new one. Dean doesn’t know exactly what it’s about this time but he knows Alastair is an ass so it’s probably about that.

“Let’s just get inside.” Dean mutters, not especially keen on getting caught in that argument, Alastair hates him enough as it is and he still doesn’t even know why. He thinks it’s got something to do with Lisa and a part of him is a bit afraid that she’s only dating him to make Alastair angry.

Cole _tch_ ’s but starts walking to the lockers rooms. Dean’s of course not so lucky.

They’re passing Coach and Alastair with a wide berth but Coach apparently sees him anyway because he calls out for Dean. Cole gives him a sympathetic look but doesn’t hang around and Dean ends up trudging over to the angry pair.

“Coach?” he asks politely and sees how Alastair makes a snide face when Coach Singer turns to Dean instead.

“JV practice?” Coach asks curtly and if Dean didn’t know the man so well he would be stumbling over what the hell the man is asking for. But Dean’s practically fluent in Bobby Singer now and lapses into a short rendition of how their practice had gone from his point of view.

Not short enough, though, because Alastair quickly loses his patience. “Yeah, yeah, Winchester, we get it. You’re hot shit.” He drawls. Coach Singer looks like he wouldn’t mind come choice child abuse.

“And because he’s such hot shit I’m replacing you with him for the upcoming practice game.” Coach Singer snaps, making both Alastair and Dean stare wide-eyed at him.

“You’re benching me?”

“I’ve warned you.” Coach Singer interrupts loudly. “Your team is dissatisfied with you and I agree, I was going to bump Winchester up to varsity captain after you but with the goddamn grades you’re producing I’m starting to think you’re not gonna leave this school when you’re supposed to. And I ain’t playing one more season with you in the lead.”

Dean can hardly breathe he’s so stoked. Sure, he doesn’t particularly want to step into the captain’s shoes in the middle of the season but he’ll do it if asked. Captain of the varsity football team, it’s everything he’s wanted and might even be his ticket to KU when he finally graduates.

“Fucking _Winchester_?” Alastair roars and Dean jerks to attention. “He’s not half the player I am.”

“He’s not half the player you _used to be_.” Coach Singer says in an icy tone and Dean winches because ouch, that had to hurt. “I don’t know what’s happened to you lately but if you think you can just fuck up my team then you’re a bigger idjit than I thought.”

Alastair turns deadly eyes on Dean and Dean hates it. He doesn’t like having the spotlight shined on him like this and he suddenly wishes Coach Singer would have talked to him before so he would have been prepared.

“Fine.” Alastair spits. “It’s only a practice game anyway. Don’t fucking get on a high horse now _Loose_ chester, just because Coach thought to use you to make an example.”

“Off the field!” Coach Singer bellows and Dean jerks again. Alastair just snorts and starts walking away.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have done it.” Dean mumbles, Alastair’s words stinging and dampening his happiness over being chosen. Of course he’s just a pawn, what did he expect anyway?

“The nerve of that kid.” Coach Singer says gruffly. “Don’t let ‘im get in your noggin’, Dean.” He turns and puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “You’re a damn good player and I don’t see any reason not to bump you up to captain for good if you keep performing like this. I ain’t just using you to make a point; people like Alastair need to be put in their place but you would’ve been made varsity captain eventually anyway.”

Dean swallows over a lump. “Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel walks into school on Monday morning in high spirits. He and Pam had spent the weekend painting her bedroom and even though neither of them really knew what the hell they were doing it had turned out really great and Castiel doesn’t even mind that he’s still finding paint stains on his body from them smearing each other. Maybe painting in their underwear hadn’t been the greatest idea.

Castiel smiles to himself and when he turns a corner he can’t help but notice someone else who seems to be in a similar mood.

Dean Winchester is standing by what Castiel assumes is his locker, a big grin on his face. He looks good like that, Castiel reflects and almost unconsciously starts walking over to the teen. Dean looks surprised to see him and if Castiel didn’t know better he would say it was a blush spreading over Dean’s freckled nose.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” He says cheerily and Dean ducks his head with a smile.

“Coach Singer made me captain of the varsity team for the practice game against Topeka High. Dad was so happy he took me and Sammy to LongHorn Steakhouse.” He looks up and yes, that’s definitely a blush. “Sammy’s my little brother.”

Castiel can’t help but grin widely. The more he hears about Dean the more he wants to know. He leans his shoulder against the locker next to Dean’s and crosses his arms over his chest.

“That’s great news, Dean. I’m very happy for you.”

Dean ducks his head again and Castiel wonders if that’s because he’s shy or unused to praise. It’s quite endearing.

“It’s only a practice game. Coach is mad at Alastair and wanted to bench him so he kinda had to take me instead because he can’t play without a captain.”

“Well that doesn’t take away from your accomplishments.” Castiel smiles softly when Dean looks at him with big eyes. They’re an unusually vibrant shade of green and Castiel likes it. “You’re usually captain of the junior varsity team, am I right?” he nods when Dean mumbles out a _yes_. “And how are they doing?”

“Much better now.” Dean grins and Castiel thinks that Dean’s eyes almost shine when he talks about his team. “They’re working much better together, they’ve really evolved as a team.”

“People tend to do that under sound leadership.” Castiel says simply and is astonished at how Dean takes his praise. He almost looks like he’s vibrating with joy and Castiel finds himself wanting to hug the teen.

There’s suddenly a loud noise coming from behind Castiel, though, and in the next second Castiel registers someone screaming _“Winchester!”_ at the top of their lungs before a fist comes out of nowhere. Dean takes the punch straight on his jaw and he flies back, hitting his head on the locker and practically bounces off it.

Castiel is so stunned he barely has time to react before Dean shakes himself and launches himself at the attacker. Castiel is turned about when people start shouting and he only then recognizes that it’s Alastair that has attacked Dean. The two boys are hammering at each other and Castiel feels every punch Dean takes as a physical blow to himself, which is kind of ridiculous of him but there you have it.

“Stop it!” he roars and dives into the fray. “Alastair, get—” he’s cut off when he takes a punch intended for Dean right in his ribcage on his right side.

The first thought is that he’s thankful for it being the right side so it won’t discolor his tattoo. And then the pain comes and it hurts like a motherfucker but he manages to do nothing more than cough out the air in his lungs.

Both Dean and Alastair freeze, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Mr. N.” Dean says urgently.

Castiel’s vision is swimming because holy hell that _hurt_. Alastair obviously knows how to throw punches and Dean’s been taking more than one. Hell, he even took one to the _head_. Castiel suddenly feels scared for Dean’s sake.

“Enough of this.” He growls, his voice made deeper because of the pain he’s in but it obviously translates as anger — which, good — because not only Dean and Alastair but also the ring of students around them freeze and stare at him. “Someone get the principal.”

“I’m already here.” Zachariah Adler says in his snarky tone and it makes Castiel relax a little. Zachariah can be obtuse but he’s actually more reasonable than some people think. Gabriel hates him but Castiel has never has any problems with him. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Alastair just fucking punched Dean.” Gordon says loudly and Castiel only then recognizes some of Dean’s supposed friends in the sea of faces around them. He wonders why the boy didn’t think to help Dean but then again, the fight would only have escalated out of proportion if that had happened.

“As if Dean didn’t punch him too.” Another boy says, Castiel doesn’t know his name. He thinks it’s Roy something but hardly thinks it matters.

“Alright.” Zachariah sighs. “Both of you, in my office.”

Dean and Alastair is rounded up by Bartholomew, Zachariah’s assistant, and are marched off to the office. Castiel wobbles over to the Principal.

“Don’t be so hard on them.” He all but croaks and Zachariah frowns at him.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“I got mine when I tried to break them up.” He smiles crookedly because damn, he can barely breathe. What does a broken rib feel like anyway? “Judging by what this one punch feels like they both need to see the nurse, or worse. Don’t keep them too long.”

The crowd around them is dispersing, a few students lingering but mostly leaving Zachariah and Castiel alone. Zachariah steps in and grips Castiel’s elbow when he has to lean against the lockers.

“You should go to the nurse yourself.”

“Maybe I should.” He most definitely will.

“Honestly now, what happened?”

Castiel frowns, thinking about his and Dean’s conversation. “Alastair definitely threw the first punch this time but I can’t say if this is the first fight they’ve had. I think you need to talk to Coach Singer as well.”

Zachariah sighs a long-suffering sigh. “Jocks.” He mutters and Castiel feels like he’s wrong about Dean being a typical jock but he doesn’t say anything about that.

“Just don’t be too hard.” He repeats.

“I will find a proper punishment.” Zachariah promises. “Now get to the nurse’s office.”

Castiel smiles and nods, waits until the Principal is gone until he whimpers pitifully and lurches away from the lockers. He stumbles on his way over to the nurse’s office but manages not to call attention to himself.

The nurse doesn’t do much more than ascertain that his ribs aren’t broken, smears him with some kind of salve that’s supposed to help against bruising and gives him enough pain meds to knock out a horse. By the time he’s leaving her office he’s feeling better about his injury but more concerned with Dean’s well-being. And Alastair, he supposes.

“The hell happened to you?” Gabriel asks when they meet in the teacher’s lounge.

“I got caught in cross-fire, punched right in the ribs.” He makes a face when he reaches for his coffee mug and it pulls on his already swelling skin. “Help.”

Gabriel grins at him. “This has literally got to be the first time you’ve gotten in a fight.” He pours way too much sugar in Castiel’s coffee but Castiel doesn’t argue and just gratefully accepts the mug.

“I wasn’t _in_ the fight, I was trying to break it up.”

“Clearly.” Gabriel chuckles. “So who were you saving?”

“Dean Winchester.” Castiel answers without hesitation and then realizes what that must have sounded like. “I mean, he got attacked by Alastair and I wanted them to stop punching each other.”

Gabriel hums and pours himself some kind of milk-sugar concoction with a splash of coffee for taste.

“I hope Adler fits the punishment to the crime.”

“I’m sure he’s fair.”

Gabriel snorts. “Fair? That old fart?”

“You’re just mad I got my club approved as an EA but you didn’t get your cooking class.”

“You bet I’m mad.” Gabriel hisses. “My idea was awesome, he’s just too dull to see it.”

The coffee feels nice as Castiel swallows it down, feeling the warmth all the way down to his stomach. “I told you he wouldn’t go for an all-girls cooking class with only aprons as the dress code.”

“Aprons and hotpants with bikini tops.” Gabriel sniffs. “I’m not an animal.”

Castiel shakes his head with a smile, his mind already wandering back to Dean and how nice it had been to see the teen happy like that. He hopes Alastair’s actions won’t take away Dean’s smile.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Cas' ink looking something like this drawing (that I totally stole from somewhere on Google):  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Dad’s in the kitchen when Dean gets home, drinking coffee and looking like he’s just come home himself. He’s still in his coveralls from the auto shop and his hands are greasy. He’s reading a newspaper and doesn’t look up when Dean enters. There’s a frozen pizza “cooking” in the over and the kitchen smells much nicer than Dean knows the pizza will taste.

Dean feels weary as he plops down on the chair next to dad’s. When dad looks up and obviously spots the bruises covering Dean’s jaw he squints and closes his newspaper.

“I hope the other kid looks worse.”

He doesn’t. Alastair punches way harder than Dean and Dean’s spent the day worrying about Mr. Novak and that punch he took.

He saw the man during lunch though and he looked kind of okay. He listed a little but had only shaken off his cousin when Gabriel Novak offered to carry his tray. Dean thinks he’s probably strong enough to take a punch. But still, it doesn’t sit well with him that Mr. Novak got hurt because of him.

“It was Alastair.” He says in lieu of answering dad. “He’s mad at me because of what Coach Singer did.”

Dad shakes his head. “He’s mad at you because you’re better than him and he knows it. Assholes are always like that, Dean.” Dad gets up to check the pizza.

Dean squirms in his seat, not used to dad speaking like this. It kind of sounded like he was proud of Dean and maybe he is, he’s just not that good at expressing it. Now Dean almost doesn’t want to give dad the paper Principal Adler gave him for dad to sign but he has to sign it or the Principal’s gonna call and dad’ll like that even less.

He pulls the permission slip out of his backpack and tries not to feel nervous. He puts it on the table and slides it over to the other side when dad turns back to Dean. He frowns down at it and goes to pick it up.

“Bad news.” Dean mumbles. “Principal Adler is making me join Mr. Novak’s extracurricular music club on Thursdays.”

It’s not _that_ bad, he thinks. He’s kind of tentatively interested in it. On the one hand he really doesn’t want to because of what his friends and dad might think, and because he doesn’t trust the fluttery feeling he’s been getting in his stomach whenever he’s near Mr. Novak.

On the other hand, while he doesn’t trust that feeling he kind of likes it. And if he has to attend Mr. Novak’s club then that means he can’t meet with Lisa on Thursdays and maybe it shouldn’t be but it’s kind of a relief to have something out of his control to blame.

Dad reads the permission slip and the note Principal Adler had attached. It mostly says something about Dean needing to calm his emotions and music being a good way to channel his feelings. It sounds like some hippy-dippy shit and Dean already knows dad’s not going to buy it.

“What the hell is this?” dad demands and Dean lowers his head, shrugging. “That fucking fruit put you up to this, didn’t he?”

Dean winces and is glad dad can’t see his face. He’s always disliked how dad talks about Mr. Novak because gay or not, Mr. Novak is still one of the best teachers. But now it feels like a personal jab and how can it not when Dean’s whole body flushes with warmth when he so much as thinks about Mr. Novak’s hands? Dean knows he’s weird, he doesn’t need dad to tell him.

“Actually it was Coach Singer, kinda.” Dean mumbles and feels more than sees dad sitting down again. His whole presence demands an explanation and Dean doesn’t really have it because he wasn’t in Principal Adler’s office for their discussion but he knows enough. “Principal Adler wanted to suspend me and Alastair for fighting but Coach Singer convinced Principal Adler not to. I think because he needs me for the game. Coach Singer said to put me in a club so I wouldn’t have so much free time to throw punches and Principal Adler suggested the music club since apparently Mr. Novak had told him to go easy on us. Alastair got the same option but he refused, he’s suspended for two weeks.”

Dad is looking pensively down at the permission slip when Dean looks up. “I suppose this is the better option.” He mutters and Dean nods. “This says it’ll count as extracurricular activity, that’s good, right?”

Dean nods again. “For college applications.” He says simply. “Also, if I had been suspended that would’ve looked bad when I apply for college.”

Dad nods and goes to the kitchen counter where they keep a few pens and loose paper they use for shopping lists.

“That coach of yours better do good by you.” He mutters as he signs the slip. “It’s his coaching that has that other kid at your throat.”

Dean shrugs as he accepts the signed slip and puts it in his bag. “He said he’s gonna make me varsity captain next year, I’ll be acting captain this season.”

“So you’re on the varsity team already then?” this makes dad visibly perk up.

“I guess you could put it like that.” Dean mumbles, feeling like the accomplishment is tainted by this whole thing with Alastair. “And don’t worry, the music club doesn’t conflict with the football practice.”

“I supposed not.” Dad snorts and bends down to check the pizza again. “Otherwise that coach would’ve been a special kind of stupid. And you better watch yourself now, Dean.” Dad says when he straightens again. Dean’s just about to tell him that he’s always keeping a watchful eye on Alastair when dad continues. “I don’t trust that Novak fella around you kids, no one can really know what’s going on in the head of people like that.”

Dean hangs his head and mumbles something about always being careful and then he slips out of the kitchen, feeling wretched about the whole exchange.

 

 

Dean is on Sam’s bed, face down on his little brother’s pillow while Sam does his homework. The pillow smells faintly of sweat and the cheap shampoo all Winchester men use but Dean doesn’t care. He’s tired and full from dinner but even though he wants to relax he can’t because his mind’s going a mile a minute.

Dinner had been awkward for Dean, mostly because of what dad had said about Mr. Novak, and he can’t seem to let it go. Sam and dad had argued/discussed the possibility of Sam joining a junior soccer team. It’s not affiliated with school so it costs money and dad thinks they’re running a tight enough ship as it is. Dean wishes he had money he could give his little brother.

“S’mmy.” He mumbles against the pillow when he hears a break in Sam’s writing.

“Can’t hear you, Dee.” Sam says, way too fucking calm for a kid his age. His writing resumes and Dean stays quiet for a while longer. He doesn’t even know what he had wanted to say.

Except yes he does and it’s not about money or soccer.

He sits up after a few minutes spent in silence, hugging the pillow to his chest as he leans against the wall beside the bed. Sam’s tacked up posters with Manchester United on the wall and the poster makes a crinkling sound when Dean leans against it.

“Why is dad…?” he quiets and looks down, hears Sam turn on his swiveling office chair. “Why is dad like that about gays?”

“I dunno.” Sam says after a while and yeah, how would he know? He’s not even in high school. Except Sam’s much smarter than any of Dean’s friends and they’re each other’s confidants, always been, no matter how much Dean might tease his little brother and how much Sam might scowl at his big brother. “Maybe he’s scared because it’s kinda different.”

“Does that have to be bad?” Dean asks the pillow.

“To be different? I don’t think so. You know Eileen in my class, right?” Dean nods and looks up to see Sam do the same. “She’s deaf so she’s different from the rest of us but I kind of think she’s awesome anyway.”

Dean smiles. “She’s the one that read lips, right?”

Sam scowls when he obviously remembers the same thing Dean’s remembering. That time Sammy was going to introduce Eileen to Dean and Dean, knowing she was deaf, asked outright if she was the girl Sam was crushing on. Her pleased expression had been the best.

“Yes.” Sam bites out, making Dean smile even wider.

“Yeah, she’s awesome.”

“But different.”

Dean thinks about Mr. Novak and his dazzling smile. “Yeah, maybe that’s not so bad.”

 

 

The Wednesday evening before Dean’s first music club he feels jittery as fuck and doesn’t even know why. It might be because he and Lisa had a big fight during lunch today about Dean being in the music club and how that would affect the time he spends with her.

He had tried to explain that he kind of had to be in the club but she had turned his words against him to mean that he would rather spend his time there than with her. It hadn’t helped that Roy had been on Lisa’s side and that Amara had put her fat nose in the fight too, defending Dean so that Lisa accused them of having an affair.

At that point Dean had just wanted to vanish through the floor and of course that had been the moment he had seen Mr. Novak standing to the side with his cousin and Mr. Crowley, the History teacher, watching the whole thing.

Dean still feels like dying, to be honest.

As he steps in under the hot water spray in the shower at home he thinks about why he doesn’t want Mr. Novak to see things like that. Maybe because Mr. Novak is kind of cool? Yeah, Dean’s still crushing pretty hard on the man and that doesn’t make this whole music club thing any better.

“Fuck.” He mutters and lowers his head under the spray.

Of course _that’s_ why he’s jittery. Having regular music class together with Mr. Novak is bad enough nowadays but the club is much smaller. From what he’s heard there’s only like five other students in it so it’s going to be much more intimate. And Dean can barely handle being in the same room as the man as it is now.

Fuck, when he had approached Dean to ask about his injuries after the fight Dean had almost popped a goddamn boner. And what the fuck is up with that? Sure, he’s adolescent but who the fuck gets hard just from _talking_ to someone they like?

He lifts his head to stare at the wall in front of him. “I don’t _like_ him.” He says almost accusingly. Crushing is _not_ the same as liking. He’s just admiring the man, it’s just a man crush and that’s totally a thing.

His dick begs to differ, though, and as Dean stares down at it the fucker starts to fill out and that familiar itch starts low in Dean’s stomach. He hasn’t done this before; hasn’t jacked off to thoughts of Mr. Novak before. Because… because it really _is_ just a man crush and Dean hasn’t explored it more than that, has just waited for it to pass.

So jerking off seems like the kind of line he doesn’t want to cross because fantasizing about the man while pleasuring himself feels too definite for Dean. Feels actually gay. He usually thinks about girls or kind of nothing but the feeling of his hands on his body and it’s always eventually enough.

Besides, wouldn’t thinking about Mr. Novak in a sexual way in moments like these constitute as cheating? He’s after all dating Lisa, he should be thinking about her or _maybe_ someone he wouldn’t get anyway, like an actor or porn star or something, right?

It’s all sound logic to Dean but the moment he grips his increasingly happy dick he starts thinking about Mr. Novak anyway and doesn’t look back.

Thoughts about how Mr. Novak would do this to himself, about how he would do it to Dean, flow through Dean’s mind even as his pleasure spikes. His dick practically lurches in his hand when he imagines Mr. Novak entering the shower right now, pressing his naked body up against Dean’s and whispering filthy praise in Dean’s ear.

Fuck, his voice is so deep, Dean bets it would be all raspy when he’s aroused. The way he had sounded after he had taken that punch is still fresh in Dean’s mind and the memories make arousal surge through him.

And Mr. Novak’s _hands_. He would have them all over Dean’s squirming body. Big and warm and steady. _Knowing_.

Dean quickens his strokes, his breath coming in clipped huffs as he leans one arm against the wall and braces for his orgasm to overtake him. Mr. Novak is gay, he _must_ know how to treat a man in bed and Dean suddenly yearns for the man more than he has ever yearned for anything in his life.

He wants Mr. Novak’s kisses, his touches, his _praise_. Dean bets Mr. Novak would praise him in bed and he wants it so badly. Badly enough to whimper in his pleasure, something he’s never really done before. But he doesn’t feel bad about it, not when he imagines how Mr. Novak would respond to his whimpered pleas.

Dean can practically see the smolder in the older man’s blue eyes and it’s what pushes him over the edge. He comes with a pathetic gasp, his dick harder than it’s ever been as it pulses out globs of come all over the shower wall.

He knows he’ll feel really bad later but right now he can only feel warm and blissed out. Instead of berating himself, he lets himself imagine Mr. Novak cleaning him up after and it puts a dopey grin on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel doesn’t exactly know how to feel about Zachariah using his music club as a form of punishment for Dean and Alastair’s fight. While the Principal makes a compelling argument — and Castiel agrees that both boys probably could benefit from the healing touch of music — it still feels like his club is being associated with something bad, like being in it would be so awful that people would want to behave just to get out of it.

Bobby Singer has explained that it wasn’t like that, though, and that it was actually he who proposed a club activity instead of suspension because he thinks Dean needs some friends outside of the football team. And _that_ Castiel certainly agrees with.

Watching the teen it’s clear to Castiel that Dean is alone in a sea of people and something inside him aches to come to the boy’s aid. All the kids in Castiel’s music club are good kids and Castiel has high hopes for Dean to find some company who isn’t only interested in booze and brawling.

He’s not very surprised that it’s only Dean who takes the Principal up on this offer and to be honest — it’s probably bad teacher ethics — he’s kind of happy Alastair chose to be suspended rather than spend his time with the music club.

On TV the cool teachers always sway even the most stubborn student but Castiel knows that reality is a little different and he’s man enough to admit that he thinks Alastair would only have put a damper on the other kids’ spirits.

Besides, putting him and Dean in the same club just seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Alastair obviously resents Dean, most likely because of Dean’s successes, and resentment can be hard to overcome.

In any case the club goes very well and though Dean is quiet in the beginning he’s soon absorbed by the rest of the group, spearheaded by the lively Charlie Bradbury who has some choice words to say about Alastair. Castiel only half-heartedly tries to stop her when she informs Dean _exactly_ what she thinks of the former football captain.

Her energetic attitude seems to bring Dean out of his shell a little and Castiel can see that Dean probably wants to be more outgoing than he’s been so far. This makes Castiel smile and he more than often finds himself just observing the small group in his club as they play around with music in general.

The practice game against Topeka High comes and goes, Lawrence High winning after an intense game. Both teams look happy afterwards, though, and Castiel can see the comradery between the two schools.

Dean’s debut as captain of the varsity team is a hit and Castiel can’t stop smiling when he sees how happy the boy is. Castiel is sitting high up on the bleachers, squeezed between Gabriel and Pamela, but even from this distance Dean’s smile feels blinding.

He raises his hand in a small wave when Dean happens to look his way and to his amazement Dean ducks his head and looks incredibly shy all of a sudden. This incident sticks with Castiel and he starts observing Dean more closely, what for he doesn’t know.

But it’s clear there’s something there. Dean gets progressively more outgoing the more time he spends with his friends from music club but as soon as he’s speaking with Castiel he will duck his head and sometimes even blush. It’s intoxicatingly adorable but at the same time confusing.

In the music club Castiel devotes time with each student if they wish to learn to play an instrument and when he asks if Dean would like to learn to play the guitar Dean almost looks like he’s about to pass out. He works past it, though, and they end up practicing for a song Dean is determined to play for the class.

The Banes twins are also in the club and they had performed a spectacular rendition of [**_I’ve had the time of my life_** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICYcxbH8yag)the week before Dean tells Castiel that he too wants to makes something out of his time in the club.

This makes Castiel incredibly happy because yes, he’s been afraid that students will see his little club as a way to just check the extracurricular box and then be done with it. He would hate that, he wants the students to make the most of this and he wants to inspire them with music the way it’s always inspired him. He’s aware that music might not be as “useful” in everyday life or in the search for a job outside the music industry but he does believe it’s important for people on an emotional level.

And to say that he’s happy that Dean seemingly understands this would be an understatement.

That being said, the time he spends with Dean in the club, teaching him core accords and the song he’s chosen, makes it blatantly clear to him what Dean’s shyness is about. And while is surprises him a little to learn that Dean might be interested in him — a man — when Dean is in fact still dating Lisa Braeden, it surprises him even more that he’s not able to just laugh it off like he’s done in other similar situations.

“So he’s crushing on you, so what?” Pam asks as they’re standing shoulder to shoulder, cooking dinner in her house. “You’re not far from their age, cool, and totally fucking hot. A lot of students have crushes on you.”

“I guess.” Castiel mumbles, uncomfortable with being referred to as _“hot”_ because he really doesn’t think he is. He should at least shave more regularly. “But I didn’t think _Dean_ would be one of them.”

“You should know better than anyone not to judge a book by its cover.” She says cheekily and bumps his hip with hers to get him to step aside so she can get a new cutting board for the potatoes.

Castiel presses his lips together because yes, he really _should_ know better. “If Dean hasn’t come to terms with himself and isn’t dating Lisa as a cover he might be confused. And hurting.”

“And if he _is_ dating her as a cover he might be hurting even more.”

Castiel stops chopping the vegetables for their Minestrone soup and stares down at his hands.

“Do you remember when I told you there was a group of parents last year who went to the PTA and demanded that I be removed?”

“Of course.” She mumbles as she starts washing the potatoes for the soup. Her tone says exactly what she thinks about that incident and Castiel feels warmed by the love between them.

“Dean’s father was one of the instigators of that group.”

“Fucking hell.” She groans and looks at him with pitying eyes. “Now I almost wanna kidnap that boy and raise him for myself.”

That makes Castiel smile and he resumes chopping the carrots. “At least Dean has turned out fine, he’s a really good kid.”

Pam hums and Castiel knows she has a hard time letting go of homophobia and the like. She got very involved in the LGBT community after Castiel came out and got discriminated against. It stuff like that that makes him love her even more.

“Wait.” She stops chopping potatoes and looks thoughtfully at him. “Is this the same Dean from that football game you dragged me to?”

She’s exaggerating the dragging a bit but yeah, he had kind of asked her more than once when she at first had been reluctant to go. She didn’t usually attend high school football games and neither did Castiel, if Gabriel didn’t make him go.

But he had been proud of Dean and had wanted to watch the boy’s first big game. And maybe he had been a bit concerned that Alastair would be there to make things hard on Dean but thankfully the boy had stayed home and Dean had anyhow had both his father and a boy Castiel assumes is Dean’s little brother by his side after the game.

“It’s him.”

“The boy you took a punch for?”

“Dean is not _that_ common of a name.” He laughs while Pam eyes him shrewdly.

“He’s very pretty.”

“He is.” Castiel admits casually. “If he was a few years older and I met him in a bar I would probably try and hit on him.”

“More like climb him like a tree.”

“That too.” He laughs again but stops short when he realizes what he just admitted to. He puts down the knife and stares at Pam with wide eyes. She looks way too calm and way too smug for this.

“So _that’s_ why you’re worried that he might have a crush on you.”

“I, um, no I…” he scrapes a hand over his mouth to calm down but what the hell? Just _calm_ _down_. Dean’s his student, he’s 16, and he’s vulnerable. Castiel’s just feeling protective over his protégé.

“Wow, I can’t remember a time when a man made _you_ speechless.” Pam says then, her voice all serious all of a sudden and Castiel needs to nip this in the bud.

“It’s not that.” He says, careful to keep his voice calm, and forces himself to start chopping once again. It’s crooked and he knows it but dutifully continues anyway. “I’m just lonely and you know what? I met Balthazar the other day and we actually smiled politely at each other.”

“Oh hell no, Cas.” Pam hisses and thank God. Castiel had decided not to mention this neither to Pam nor Gabriel because he knew they would be mad but now it feels like the best idea ever to divert Pam’s attention to his ex instead. It’s cheap and he’s never done it with Pam before so he feels incredibly bad but he also feels like he needs to think this Dean-business over for himself before he faces anyone else.

Surely he’s just feeling protective.

“What?” he grins. It feels fake. “You don’t approve of me letting off steam with him?”

“Are you _insane_?” Pam almost yells. “If it’s steam you want to let out I’ll buy a fake dick and peg you before I let you go back to him. Plus the asshole’s married.”

“I heard they got a divorce.”

“Cas, I swear…”

They continue to banter over this as they cook dinner and it makes Castiel feel better. But as soon as he’s home and alone his mind starts whirring again and he can’t let go of how warm and tight his chest feels when he thinks about Dean.

Protection is a strong feeling and Castiel feels it fiercely when he thinks about the few people who matter to him but it doesn’t feel like this. This feels like what he had felt all those years ago when Balthazar held him tightly and whispered in his ear that it was the two of them against the world.

But Dean is a child and this is insane.

Castiel goes to bed thoroughly confused and when he wakes up in the morning, feeling the last vestiges of one of the best wet dream he’s ever had seep out of him he knows he’s truly screwed. And not good screwed like Dean had gotten in Castiel’s dream.

 

* * *

 

 

“When Gilda came to the costume party dressed as some kind of forest nymph I thought I was going to die.” Ava and Alicia laugh at Charlie’s dreaming expression.

Max and Andy are fiddling with the keyboard, occasionally making an awful sound or two, and Dean is wondering what he’s doing sitting with the girls. Most probably he’s avoiding being too alone with Max just like he’s been avoiding it for most of the time since he joined the music club.

Since Max and his sister Alicia are freshmen Dean doesn’t deal with them on a normal basis but the music club is made up of a motley crew of people from all years and now Dean is confronted by his bad conscience every week.

But both Banes twins have been nothing but kind to him so Dean thinks that maybe they’re cool with him being here despite what the rest of the football team and Dean’s so called friends think about them. Come to think of it, most of the people in the music club are kind of the odd ones out anyway.

Charlie Bradbury is a computer and pop culture nerd in her junior year of High School, one of the few openly gay students that Dean knows about. She’s also the most outgoing person Dean’s ever met and he likes her a lot.

Max and Alicia Banes are incredibly tight but Dean doesn’t hold that against them. He’s tight with Sammy too and they’re not even twins. Max has just joined the baseball team, a little late but they’re accepting of stragglers and Dean thinks that sounds nice.

Ava Wilson is the oldest, being a senior, and she’s kind of hard to talk to. She seems kind but she gets these moments when she just stops and stares out into space. Charlie’s told Dean that Ava’s boyfriend killed himself during the summer but that Ava is sure he was murdered. Dean doesn’t like to think about it.

Andrew “Andy” Gallagher is a loopy kid in Charlie’s class. He’s told Dean he can get him weed any time he wants and Dean suspects he smokes his own stashes. He’s fun to hang out with and makes Dean feel relaxed.

In just the few short weeks Dean’s been in the music club he’s already started to like this group of people better than his other friends and he felt bad about that until Sam pointed out that his other friends are idiots. Dean wishes more people on the football team were like the people in the music club because he really likes playing football but wishes the team was more relaxed.

“Is Gilda the blonde in the drama club?” he asks and tries not to sound like a douche.

Charlie just smiles, though. “Yeah, you’ve seen her? Isn’t she beautiful?” she gets a faraway look in her eyes and Dean thinks about what Gilda looked like playing Rapunzel in last year’s Christmas play. Who could have missed her?

“She is.”

“Not as beautiful as Lisa, though, am I right?” Alicia teases and elbows Dean.

He grins because he feels like he has to. “Of course not.” He doesn’t want to think about Lisa.

The party that Charlie had referred to was the costume party Bela Talbot had thrown. Dean and Lisa had of course gone together and she had made him wear some horrible medieval knight suit to match her sexy princess dress, which had been _so_ sexy that it had drawn stares that honestly had made Dean uncomfortable.

His football friends had teased him and called him whipped but Lisa had been happy so Dean had supposed that was what mattered. The evening had ended in yet another fight, though. Again it was about sex and Dean is frankly goddamn tired of it. If he doesn’t want to fuck his girlfriend in the bathroom while people wait in line to take a piss just outside a flimsy wooden door then he doesn’t want to. Simple as that.

It had only gotten worse when Amara had sauntered up and started ogling Dean because somehow that was apparently his fault. Amara hasn’t hung out with them since she and Lisa had a big fight and Dean had honestly thought that she had gotten over him but apparently not. Dean still doesn’t know why that is his fault but according to Lisa it is.

She’s barely spoken two words to him since and that was a week ago. He feels like a dog following her around. Maybe Sammy was right after all…

“So, are you okay talking to Charlie and all?” Ava asks suddenly and Dean frowns in confusion, he’s been talking to her for multiple weeks now.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I…?” he stops, hangs his head. “Oh.”

“Ava.” Charlie hisses and Ava makes a noncommittal sound. “I’m sorry Dean, we know you’re not like your dad.”

“Maybe your dad’s not so bad?” Alicia tries kindly but Ava just snorts. Dean understands her but it still stings.

“He’s a good dad.” Dean mumbles. “We don’t agree on everything, though.”

Charlie puts a hand on his arm. “Could be worse, he could be outside the school holding protest signs.”

That actually puts a smile on Dean’s face. “I would die if that happened.” He swallows and his smile slips off his face as he thinks about dad’s heated words from last semester. He’s calmed down now and seems to accept that Mr. Novak is employed fulltime but just remembering makes Dean uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, though. Dad says a lot of shit and maybe he doesn’t mean them all but they still hurt. Sammy says dad’s got no brain-to-mouth filter.”

Charlie grins. “Hey I’m okay, but if you really feel like apologizing you should do it to Mr. N instead. He took the brunt of it.”

And did it like a champ, from what Dean’s heard. Rumor has it that Mr. Novak stood tall and with a straight back as several parents, Dean’s dad included, yelled right in his face about his sexual preferences. Mr. Novak’s face had been an impassive mask and it had been his lack of response that had eventually calmed the parents down.

Dad had been mad about that when he came home after the PTA meeting but when Dean heard about it he thought it sounded so cool. Dean is sure he would have lost his temper if that had been him getting bashed like that.

Dean’s knees feel a little weak just thinking about saying all that to Mr. Novak and he’s glad he’s sitting down.

“Yeah.” He mumbles. “Maybe.”

Mr. Novak chooses that moment to walk through the door waving a bunch of paper.

“Found the sheet music.” He announces happily and Dean thinks it’s almost inappropriate how happy he feels just seeing the man smile. He should feel like this with Lisa but he’s stopped trying to fool himself by now. Mr. Novak stops when he catches the sight of Dean and the girls. “What’s with the doom and gloom?”

Suddenly uncomfortable that they were talking about Mr. Novak behind his back, Dean scrambles to find a fitting excuse but Charlie comes to his rescue.

“Alicia accidentally deleted a whole folder of pictures, she was asking me if I could restore it.”

Alicia looks at Charlie and Dean before turning to Mr. Novak. Dean’s ears are burning and he’s not meeting anyone’s eyes.

“Yeah but apparently there are things not even our computer guru can fix.” She says cheekily and gets up to walk over to Mr. Novak together with Ava. “But never mind, you got the sheets?”

“Yes.” Mr. Novak exclaims shows the girls. The three of them walk over to Andy and Max and Dean is left alone with Charlie.

“Thanks.” He says eloquently to the floor and sees Charlie shrugs out of the corner of his eye.

“No problem.” She’s smiling when he looks up and he feels all the unfair things around him like a lump of ice in his stomach.

“I really am sorry about dad, though.” He says earnestly and Charlie’s expression falls somewhere between somber and confused. “And I’m sorry about the football team harassing Max when he wanted to try out, it was fucking awful.”

Charlie’s eyes soften. “You shouldn’t worry about that. Max isn’t mad at you, he knows it wasn’t your doing.”

“Yeah but,” Dean looks over at Max who’s smiling about something Mr. Novak just said. “I didn’t stop them either.”

“And sometimes that’s equally worse, I get it, but Dean,” she puts a hand on his arm again and it feels comforting when she does that. “You’re obviously really remorseful about it and Max knows that. Besides, you can’t go around feeling remorse for things that weren’t your decision. I think it’s nice that you care so much, though, don’t lose that.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think people should be hated for things they can’t help.” Dean mutters and Charlie squeezes his arm once before letting go. “Because you can’t choose to be gay, right?”

“Not that I know of.”

Dean chews his bottom lip for a moment, indecisive whether he wants to talk about this in a way that’ll maybe lead Charlie to conclusions. She’s after all awfully smart.

“What’s it like, being gay?” he eventually asks and she looks a little surprised.

“I dunno? Normal?” she laughs at his confusion. “I mean, I don’t remember ever not liking girls so I wouldn’t know. It is what it is and it doesn’t really reflect on me as a person, right?”

“I suppose not.” Dean mumbles, feeling nowhere closer to an answer and starting to think there might not be a right or wrong answer to this question.

“But if you want to know what it’s like to be a gay dude and you don’t feel comfortable talking to Max about it because of that whole football team debacle, I suppose you could ask Alan Corbett.”

“The junior in the AV club?” Dean asks with a frown. He knows about the guy only because he always hangs out with Harry Spangler and Ed Zeddmore from the AV club as they hunt for ghosts around school. They’re somewhat of a laughing stock and Dean’s never really bothered with them.

“Yeah.” Charlie says brightly. “He’s gay too and he’s in love with Ed, I even think Ed knows but they hang out anyway, even though Ed’s not gay. Not that I know of at least.”

Dean thinks that sounds kind of cool. “Nerds are really accepting, huh?”

Charlie makes a face and Dean suspects she’s thinking about his friends on the football team. “Yeah, nerds don’t really care about stuff like that as long as you get your nerd factoids right. Seriously, though, you should talk to him about it.”

“I don’t feel comfortable.” Dean mumbles and it’s true. While it’s true that he’s uncomfortable asking Max, he’s even more uncomfortable with that Alan guy because he doesn’t know him. His stomach is in a twist just talking to Charlie about it, and he doesn’t think she’s even really understood why he’s asking.

“Or you could ask Mr. N.” She says, suddenly all cheerily, and Dean feels his cheeks threatening to heat up.

He glances over at Mr. Novak where he’s standing by the keyboard. He looks fucking delicious today in a simple white shirt and the arms rolled up to his elbows. He’s got a tie on, it’s crooked and cute as fuck. He’s frowning down at the sheet music as Andy talks about how they want to reinvent the song.

“I sound like an ass every time I try talking to him.” He doesn’t realize how that might make him sound until he’s said it and he looks at Charlie with big eyes. She’s grinning at him.

“Just so I’m not jumping the gun I’m gonna ask before we continue this conversation.” She says in a low murmur and Dean swallows. She _could_ be assuming he means he doesn’t know how to talk to homosexual people but somehow he doesn’t think so. “How long have you been hot for teach?”

“I, uh…”

“And is this why Lisa won’t speak with you? It’s clear she’s pissed about something.”

“Lisa doesn’t know.” Dean whispers, eyes lowered. Now or never, he supposes. “No one knows. I don’t know what to do.”

This is met with silence and when Dean looks up Charlie looks uncharacteristically taken, almost sad.

“I…” she takes a deep breath. “I was just about to tease you but shit, Dean. This is the real deal isn’t it?”

Dean rubs his neck and wants to make a joke, wants her to tease him and laugh about it, to make it feel like not such a big deal. But it is and it’s eating him up. By now he’s completely abandoned all pretenses and is imagining Mr. Novak every time he jacks off and his masturbation sessions have drastically increased because of it, as have the quality of them.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

“You should tell Mr. N.”

Dean looks at her with wide eyes. “What the fuck?” he hisses but she’s back to smiling.

“Better yet, you know what you _should_ do?” she’s practically bouncing in her seat and Dean’s afraid it’ll call Mr. Novak’s attention to them. “You know that song you’re practicing? You should totally meet his eyes during it. Like, meet and hold for a few seconds. Long enough that he’ll know it’s intentional but not long enough that it’s weird, and only do it once so it _means_ something.”

Dean’s mouth feels dry as he remembers this happening when Mr. Novak was singing that Savage Garden song. Had that been deliberate? No, no it had to have been purely coincidental but even so Dean still remembers how it made him feel.

“And that…” he swallows, thinking about making Mr. Novak feel the same. “And that’ll tell him?”

“At the very least it’ll tell _you_ what _he’s_ thinking. If you decide to do it you should tell me so I can watch him too. Mr. Novak’s got one hell of a poker face but music is the way to his heart, his reaction could totally tell you what he’s thinking about you.”

“He’s not thinking anything about me.” Dean mumbles. “I’m just a kid.”

“Maybe now.” she grins cheekily. “But after you sing that song for him, oh boy…” she looks so excited Dean’s starting to get excited too. “I mean, I’m as gay as they go but even I can see that you’re good-looking. You’re smart and funny and ripped, why the hell wouldn’t he like you?”

“‘M not smart.” Dean mumbles and looks down at his calloused hands. His comment earns him a smack on the shoulder and he looks up with wide eyes.

“Shut up, Kevin Tran is one of my best friends so don’t think I don’t know.”

Kevin’s been Dean’s lab partner this semester so Dean thinks he knows what Charlie’s talking about. Kevin’s been praising Dean and Sam’s always said Dean’s got a head for science, even though Dean’s never really believed him.

“Looking at Mr. N while singing still feels awkward, though.” He says as a deflection of the praise and Charlie looks like she knows what he’s doing but she lets it slide nonetheless.

“That’s why you do it only once.” She says conspiratorially. “Once is an accident, if it turns out that he’s not interested.”

Dean glances at Mr. Novak again and feels a tingle go through his whole body when he sees the man’s tongue poking out between straight white teeth as he scribbles notes on the sheets.

“Sounds like a plan.” He mumbles because why the hell not?

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with the introduction of this chapter the title for the fic becomes blaringly obvious XD

 

 

Dean looks a little nervous as he takes his seat at the front of the classroom but he hides it well behind easy smiles. Castiel is standing to the side, leaned against a desk and his arms crossed over his chest, a smile of his own playing at the corners of his mouth.

Dean has really been working hard to understand the guitar as an instrument and while Castiel doesn’t know what his driving force is he likes what he’s seeing. And from what he’s heard from Bobby Singer and some of the other teachers Dean seems more relaxed in general.

He’s excelling out on the field and Gabriel told Castiel that Dean aced his Home Economics test just last week. He certainly doesn’t know if the music club has something to do with Dean’s lifted spirits but he likes to think so.

Bobby has implied it too and Castiel is starting to think that the old man’s comment about Dean needing new friends might have been truer than they could have imagined. He has definitely made some good friends here in the club and Castiel has noticed Dean sitting more with Kevin and Garth in their regular Music classes too.

Dean’s football friends seem put off about this and while they didn’t exactly boo they weren’t very supportive when Dean and Kelly tried playing through a few songs together in class. Castiel’s chest had swelled with pride over Dean’s progress, though, and now that Dean’s told him he’s feeling confident enough to try and sing the song he’s been working on, Castiel can do nothing but root for the teen.

“I’m, um, I’m gonna try and perform John Legend’s [**_All of me_**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg).” Dean says with a shy smile. Charlie hoots and the Banes twins laugh at her. Dean ducks his head and test the waters by strumming nonsensically.

Dean and Castiel have been working hard together for Dean to be able to play this song and Castiel has enjoyed every minute. Dean’s like a sponge when it comes to new information and challenges so the experience has been very interesting to be a part of. And maybe Castiel just likes the way Dean smells and the shy smiles he gives Castiel from time to time. The teenager can be very endearing, that’s for sure.

“Please, I mean, bear with me.” Dean looks apologetically at them. “I know I can’t sing like it’s supposed to sound.”

“It’s gonna be awesome.” Andy says and Castiel feels a short burst of pride for all the kids in his club. They’re great and just what someone like Dean needs.

“Yeah.” Dean huffs. “Okay.”

He starts playing but almost immediately stops and puts his whole hand over the strings, quieting the guitar. He then takes a deep breath and starts over. This time it goes better and he plays through the whole first verse without singing, only stumbling once, before he starts over for a third time and this time he starts singing as well.

He’s right, his voice is a bit too deep for the song, but just like when Castiel had sung _Crash and Burn_ Dean makes the song on his own, playing to his strengths and weaknesses as if he’s done this a hundred times.

Castiel is mesmerized. Dean looks like he’s in his element, swaying his body slightly with the song as his fingers dance over the accords. He keeps his head bowed for most of the song, looking at his fingers but it doesn’t take away from how good he looks like this.

It’s very apparent that even though Dean’s nervous about singing in front of other people he truly enjoys playing the guitar. And he looks marvelous doing it.

Castiel shifts on his feet, a tad bit uncomfortable with his own feelings. Because while Dean looks like someone Castiel most definitely could be interested in he’s still only 16 and Castiel’s student. Castiel’s had this conversation with himself on multiple occasions since that time in Pam’s kitchen but the conversation just loops around because Dean only gets more and more handsome the more time they spend together and there’s really nothing Castiel can do about that.

He’s told himself that it’s probably just a little crush, though. Just an emotional response to figuring out that Dean seems to be crushing on him. But Pam’s right and a lot of students have had crushes on him before — Aaron Bass even confessed to him but that had turned out to be a ploy to get a better grade — and Castiel’s never batted an eye before.

It’s just because Dean’s very beautiful and because he seems vulnerable. It’s jump-starting Castiel’s protective side and—

And this was Castiel’s _first_ argument and he knows it’s not true. Well, not the _whole_ truth.

He shifts again when Dean really puts his whole heart into the song, every word laced with raw emotion. The guitar accompanies him extremely well and Castiel actually feels his chest tighten at how almost sad Dean makes the song. As if he has so much love to give but nowhere to put it.

And then Dean flicks his eyes up and meets Castiel’s straight on. It has to be a coincidence, just like when Castiel had met Dean’s eyes while singing. But unlike that time Castiel feels a jolt through his whole body, almost as there’s something within him being tugged towards the young man.

Castiel swallows hard, completely unable to look away and Dean hold his eyes for several seconds. There’s clear intent in his eyes as he sings about giving all of himself, about loving all of… of Castiel.

The thought has Castiel swallowing over a lump all of a sudden and thankfully Dean breaks eye contact, once again looking down to his fingers so he won’t stumble over the accords. Castiel feels like his breath has been stolen and when Dean finishes the song he can barely manage to smile as the rest of the club members cheer.

Charlie bounces up to Dean and hugs him tightly. Castiel’s arms tighten over his chest and he flicks down his eyes when he sees Charlie put her lips to Dean’s ear and whisper something. It’s ridiculous to feel jealous because for one, Charlie’s gay and secondly Dean’s not Castiel’s, not in the least.

But Dean sung that song for him, Castiel’s sure, and he wants it. Wants all of it all of a sudden.

When he looks up again Dean’s staring at him, his cheeks heated and Castiel can’t help but frown, which makes Dean looks away. And then the twins, Ava and Andy start talking to Dean as well and Castiel is left standing to the side, wondering what actually just happened.

 

 

“Dean, a word?” Castiel has been thinking about Dean’s apparently dormant musical talents over the weekend and he can’t let it slide. He _needs_ to talk to the teen and see if he would be interested in learning more. Secretly he’s a little scared that he’s only using it as an excuse to spend more time with Dean but as long as nothing bad happens he doesn’t see why it wouldn’t be good to do this.

Dean stops as he's passing by Castiel’s desk, on his way out of the classroom after Music class has ended. He looks almost a little spooked and Castiel reflects that he’s been looking like that ever since he sang _All of me_ for Castiel. Because Castiel _knows_ it was for him and he knows Dean’s understood that Castiel understood that as well.

So yes, for Dean to be nervous isn’t all that odd but Castiel hasn’t brought it up and he probably won’t. He thinks he knows why Dean decided to tell Castiel about his feelings in that circumvented way and he understands how delicate this is. He won’t encourage it by acknowledging it, though. Because Dean is his _student_.

 _“But I’m stupid enough to propose this?”_ mentally Castiel shakes his head at himself. He knows he’s being convoluted but he can’t seem to stop himself. Besides, it’s different acknowledging Dean’s feelings and just offering to help him with his music studies. It _is_.

Dean’s football friends hoot at Dean and Castiel sees Kelly roll her eyes at them but he doesn’t say anything. Just waits patiently for him and Dean to be alone and then walk around the desk to perch at the edge, facing Dean.

He smiles when Dean shifts on his feet and looks away. This is the first time they’ve spoken alone after Dean performed his song. Hell, it’s the only time they’ve been _completely_ alone.

“So, I wanted to talk to you about your performance in the club.” Dean looks spooked again and Castiel mentally kicks himself for how that sounded. “It’s very obvious to me that you like playing the guitar and I have to say, Dean, your raw talent is amazing.”

A small blush actually spreads across Dean’s nose and Castiel’s fascinated by it. “‘M not that great.” He mumbles to the floor. Castiel kind of wants to hug him.

 _“Or kiss him.”_ Castiel’s mind needs to shut up.

“The amount you have learnt over the last few weeks is more than some ever learn in their whole life, Dean. Trust me when I say I’m not exaggerating. And the…” he smiles when Dean looks up at him with wide eyes. “The sheer _presence_ you have when performing makes up for what you lack so far.” He realizes he’s flailing with his arms as he speaks and tries to reel himself in. Pam says he does that when he gets excited and he _is_ excited but he also knows that Dean’s easily scared off. And he wants to do this.

“You really think so?” Dean says with a little rasp. It makes Castiel’s heart hurt because that’s the rasp of a child seldom praised.

He clasps his hands and looks solemnly at Dean. “I do. In fact, I would like to teach you more, if you’d be interested.”

“More?”

“More music. Other instruments if you would like that or simply more with the guitar, it’s definitely my favorite. I’m not a voice coach but I know a few tricks and I would like to teach you those as well.”

Dean looks astonished and it makes Castiel smile. “I want that.” He says with excitement and it makes Castiel smile wider.

“Great. And I mean this of course out of school, what little time I have to teach you here won’t be enough. I’m proposing that I tutor you privately, from my home, perhaps once a week? Or as your schedule permits.”

It’s a bit unethical to be teaching students off the record and privately, Castiel knows. Maybe if he had been a guitar instructor it would have been different but as it is now it’s bordering on weird and might get him in trouble with the school. On the other hand he sometimes freelanced as an instructor while he subbed at Lawrence High so he thinks he can claim to be doing that. Or maybe he can apply for extra credit activities and put Dean up for that, he hasn’t really thought this through besides getting Dean to agree to it.

And from the looks of it that’s not going to be a problem. The teen’s whole being seem to radiate with the want to do this and Castiel thinks he knows why but still can’t find it in himself to recant his words.

So maybe Dean is in love with him and maybe Castiel harbors some kind of similar emotions, that shouldn’t get in the way of Dean’s education, period.

In any case Dean definitely looks like he’s about to jump on the offer when he suddenly realizes something and his whole body slumps. Castiel frowns at the change but doesn’t have time to ask about it before Dean speaks up.

“Dad.”

That one word makes Castiel understand perfectly. “Not in my home, alone with me, huh?” he says thoughtfully. John Winchester is the kind of bigoted idiot that Castiel has had to deal with a lot of times since coming out.

“A least not music, he thinks it’s lame.”

This makes Castiel thoughtful and he crosses his harms as Dean scuff his foot on the floor, clearly ashamed for opinions that aren’t his own. Castiel wonders how many times Dean’s had to defend himself because of John’s actions.

“Lame?” Castiel mutters. “What about all the rock legends?” he shakes his head to himself when Dean does nothing but hang his head. “Well okay, how about I try to fix you up with another coach? The most important thing here is that we don’t let your talent go to waste, as long as you’re interested. For instance, my good friend Ash is more than adequate, he’s even taught me some.”

“I don’t…” Dean clears his throat and meets Castiel’s eyes head on. “Not without you.”

Okay, that right there should feel wrong and dangerous but it feels wonderful and makes Castiel warm all over. Dean wants _him_. He’s willing to give up on music if Castiel can’t be involved. Maybe it shouldn’t feel huge — Castiel’s pretty sure Dean doesn’t value music as highly as Castiel does and missing out on this opportunity might not mean all that much to him — but it does and it makes him choke up a bit.

“Okay.” He coughs to hide a croak. “Okay, maybe we don’t tell your dad it’s music? What if we tell him it’s a subject you have to keep up for football and that your grade’s been dropping in? He values football, right?”

Dean nods. “Yeah and Coach Singer makes us keep a B average to play.”

B average? That sounds high to Castiel, especially for some of the knuckleheads in those teams. But what does he know? Might be it’s actually low to be able to keep the players in the team. Or maybe he’s even misjudging the players; he has certainly been underestimating Dean, for one.

“And I take it that you keep that score?”

Dean looks shy again, like he usually does when speaking of his own accomplishments. Castiel’s heard him mentioning his little brother several times and he’s always bragging then, but when it comes to himself he gets reserved and shy.

“A average.” He informs the floor. Castiel feels a surge of pride that’s too huge to be appropriate for their loose relationship. Not for the first time he thinks he should back off but he simply _can’t_.

“You’re amazing, Dean.” Okay, shouldn’t have said _that_. Dean’s blush is renewed and it’s way too adorable. This conversation is clearly spinning out of hand.

“But we could tell dad that I’m failing something, though.” He says hastily. “He’ll fall for it, he doesn’t think I’m smart. I mean…” he hunches in on himself, clearly mindful of what he just revealed. Castiel feels anger surge through him. “I mean, he doesn’t check my grades.”

There’s a time and place for everything and while Castiel wants to tell Dean how wrong his dad is he doesn’t think this is the moment to do it. If everything goes according to plan they’ll have plenty of time together and Castiel will get a lot of chances to tell Dean just how remarkable he actually is.

“What’s a subject your dad disliked when he was in school?”

Dean looks thoughtful for a moment, a cute wrinkle between his eyebrows distracting Castiel in all the wrong ways.

“History.” He concludes after a moment. “He’s always said it’s better to look forward than dwelling on the past.”

True in some circumstances, Castiel supposes, but clearly John Winchester has never heard about learning from your mistakes. Or maybe he doesn’t think he needs to. In either case this is perfect.

“I subbed in History.” Castiel says with a smile and Dean looks at him all shyly again.

“I know, I was in your class last year for a month. It was the best.”

Castiel feels warm all over again. “Really?”

“You’re much better at teaching than Mr. Crowley.”

“Don’t tell him.” Castiel winks but actually all he wants is to find Fergus and scream it in his snarky face. “But thank you.”

“So I tell dad that I need tutoring in History and that you’ve agreed to help me after school?”

“Yes.” Castiel straightens and goes to fetch his phone to check his schedule. “If we can fit it on a weekday you probably don’t even have to tell him that it’s at my house. We can just let him assume that we’re staying in school after hours. And if he asks, you can give him my number so I can deal with the administrative questions he might have.”

Dean looks excited again. “This is awesome, Mr. N.” He grins widely and accepts the note which Castiel hastily scribbled his number on. “What’ll I owe you?”

“Oh, sweetie.” Castiel says and won’t reflect on the endearment until long after Dean’s left. “I’m doing this for _you_ , not for money or anything else.”

Dean swallows, _hard_ , and it shouldn’t be arousing but it kind of is because it reminds Castiel of much lewder things they could be doing. Thing that would involve Dean swallowing other things than just mere saliva. It’s awful of him to think like that right now but he can’t seem to be able to control himself. At least the teen looks happy.

“Thanks Mr. N.”

 

* * *

 

 

“I didn’t think your grades were bad enough that you’d need tutoring.”

Dean basically jumps off his chair when Sammy enters his room unannounced and scares the crap out of him.

“Wear a bell!” he exclaims and Sam gives him an unimpressed face as he trots across Dean’s room to sit on the messy bed. Dean takes a moment to calm down before he turns his chair to face his little brother. “And they’re not.”

“So what was all that?”

Sam’s referring to dinner where Dean barely made it through a halting explanation about his History and football situation and how Mr. Novak has promised to help him. Dad hadn’t been very pleased, not with Dean’s apparently bad grade and about Mr. Novak of all people being the one to help out.

“Why can’t your actual History teacher help you?” he had asked while spearing his meat with more ferocity than needed.

“Because he’s the problem to begin with.” Dean had tried to joke. It hadn’t worked and he had slumped down in his seat. “I don’t get it when Mr. Crowley teaches, Mr. Novak subbed for a little while last year and I understand his method of teaching better. I asked him.”

That last part is obviously not part of the lie he and Mr. Novak have woven for themselves but Dean feels proud for including it because he doesn’t want Mr. Novak to get all the blame. Dean _really_ wants this opportunity to spend more time with the man and he’s more than willing to lie to his stubborn dad to get it.

Dad had anyhow approved with a grunt and Dean had fled to his room right after dinner, claiming he had homework. He kind of does but he’s not going to do it. In fact, he had been about to log into the school network and look up Castiel Novak’s profile so he could get a picture to jerk off to.

It’s incredibly creepy and a little seedy but Dean’s been doing it since he sang _All of me_ for Mr. Novak and Charlie told him that the older man definitely liked it. She had told him a lot about all the faces Mr. Novak had done during Dean’s performance and Dean treasures it all.

And now Mr. Novak actually proposed to be teaching Dean _just the two of them_ , in his own home. Dean’s fucking ecstatic.

“Okay.” Dean mumbles, feeling fit to burst with all of this kept inside him. He gets up to close the door. They don’t have locks on their bedroom doors but dad’s not one to barge in, at least not since Dean hit puberty. “Okay, I’ll tell you.”

Sam looks torn between curiosity and suspicion. “This is gonna be something weird.”

“You’re too smart.” Dean mutters and sits down on his chair again, taking a deep breath. “So Lisa and I are through.”

She told Dean that if he agreed to take the blame she wouldn’t make a public scene. He did and so far the breakup has mostly meant that she glares at him when he gets too close and that his so-called friends hackle him in the locker room for not being man enough for her. Dean’s kind of had other stuff on his mind so he’s not been rising to the challenge. Charlie says they’ll get tired soon anyway and Dean doesn’t really care as long it doesn’t affect their performance on the field and so far it hasn’t. He’s actually just glad that it’s not been worse and that Amara hasn’t come sniffing around now that he’s supposedly available. She seems to have given up after that costume party, finally.

Sam nods. “I didn’t like her.”

“Nobody _likes_ her.” Dean mutters under his breath because the more time he spends with other crowds than the football team the more apparent that gets. People admire her but they don’t like her.

“Weren’t you supposed to? Being her boyfriend?”

Sam’s not accusing him but Dean feels bad about it anyway. He had thought he liked her, she’s awfully pretty after all. But he barely got hard when they made out — one of the many flaws in him that she had listed as a reason for them to break it off — and when he was with her he just felt like an accessory. Like Paris Hilton’s purse puppy. Dean the Dog.

“I like Mr. N.”

Sam’s eyes widen slowly as Dean watches with determination and complete honestly. His stomach squirms uncomfortably and his whole body feels clammy with cold sweats but despite all that it actually feels kind of nice to say it out loud, and to someone else.

Charlie of course kind of knows now but he hasn’t said it so clearly even to her. She’s just been assuming a lot and he hasn’t corrected her because she’s been right and more than willing to help. And fuck knows Dean needs help with this.

The moment is broken when Sammy’s eyes dart to the door and then back again. “For real?”

Dean wipes his hands on his jeans clad thighs. They’re not as wet with sweat as he thought.

“Yeah. I kinda thought I was just admiring him, you know? But, um, it feels different.”

Sammy’s eyes are wide with surprise but Dean sees no judgement or repulsion in them so he takes comfort in that.

“So you wanna like kiss him and stuff?” he keeps his voice low even though the door’s closed and dad’s known for sitting in front of the TV until he falls asleep in his Barcalounger.

Dean’s cheeks feel heated. “Yeah.”

Sam looks thoughtful and Dean thinks this is it. This is when his little brother’s curiosity is going to be overpowered by disgust and he’ll swear off Dean’s company.

“Who’d be the girl?”

The non-judgmental tone to Sam’s question throws Dean for a loop and he just stares dumbly for a moment.

“Uh, no one? We’re both dudes?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “I know _that_ , I’m asking how you…” he spreads his fingers and fits both hands together, braiding the fingers. “How you’ll fit?”

Oh he means sex, he means how Dean and Mr. Novak will have sex. Now Dean’s sure his cheeks are heated and visibly so. He’s spent countless hours thinking about the same thing and even though he so far has only had the courage to watch one porno flick he’s pretty certain of what he wants, at least. And he supposes all he can do is hope Mr. Novak wants the same thing because with the both of them having the same tools there’s really no easy answers.

“In the ass.” He mumbles. “I’d take it in the ass.” His throat closes up as he says this out loud for the first time. “Like a little sissy.”

Sam’s curious face turns into a displeased frown when Dean adds that last part in a croak. “Those are dad’s words, don’t let him speak for you.”

Sam’s so fucking smart and much more mature than Dean thinks he will ever be.

“I wanna have sex with Mr. N.” He whispers, looking down at his hands and feeling a pleasant warmth spreading through his body. “I mean, I know he won’t look at me like that because I’m just a stupid kid but I want him to. I want him to touch me and hold me and kiss me.”

He looks up when he hears Sammy standing and moving over to where Dean is sitting and tearing himself up because of his wishes.

“You’re not just some stupid kid, Dean.” Sam says quietly. “You’re the best big brother ever.”

“Even if I’m a little sissy?”

Dean’s throat feels so tight it’s hard to breathe. Sam presses his lips together for a moment.

“Worst comes to worst I guess you’ll be the best big sister ever.”

Worst comes to worst? Sam’s words make an almost hysterical laughter bubble up past the lump in Dean’s throat. His sudden laughing fit surprises Sam but his little brother eventually joins him and it feels good to laugh about this. Dean’s already clear on the fact that dad’s gonna hate him for liking guys — or maybe he’s just liking Mr. N? In the case of dad’s rage the distinction is hardly necessary but Dean thinks it’s worth exploring — but he would probably have died if Sammy said he hated him too.

But it really doesn’t look like he does and Dean’s suddenly so happy that he can’t keep a big grin off his face.

“Mr. N’s tutoring me in music, he’s gonna teach me how to play the guitar like a rock god.”

“That sounds cool.” Sam says encouragingly. “I get why you didn’t tell dad _that_ , though.”

“Yeah.”

“You gonna do it at school?”

Dean keeps grinning, suddenly feeling like king of the world. “Nah, he invited me to his home, we’ll do it on Thursdays after music club.”

“So,” Sam smiles deviously all of a sudden. “You’re gonna be alone with your crush, gonna make a move?”

Dean wants to and part of him wants to pretend like Mr. Novak made this arrangement because he wants something to happen as well. But Dean isn’t stupid and he’s certainly learnt the lesson of not having high expectations.

“We’ll see.” He says because Sammy seems to genuinely want something to happen, for Dean’s sake, Dean supposes.

The answer is enough for his little brother and they spend a bit longer talking about the whole homosexuality thing, and Dean spends probably way too much time gushing over Mr. Novak. All in all Dean can’t believe how good everything turned out and he goes to bed that night feeling so hopeful and happy it almost hurts.

 

* * *

 

 

So far his and Dean’s guitar lessons have been going swimmingly and Castiel can’t help but congratulate himself on this.

Dean shows up about an hour after they’ve parted at school after music club activities and then they practice for a varying amount of hours. Castiel had intended for them to only spend one hour per week but quickly realizes that Dean will do everything in his power to stay longer. Eventually Castiel stops trying to cut their time short and he lets Dean stay for as long as the teen deems appropriate.

Usually he leaves before eight but one time he stayed all the way until ten o’clock and informed Castiel the next day that his little brother had covered for him but told him not to do it again. Dean is very careful about getting his brother in trouble so the late night hasn’t happened again.

As for Dean’s progress with the guitar it’s amazing. Castiel almost feels encouraged to call Dean a prodigy but is starting to get unsure whether his blooming feelings for the boy is coloring his perception of Dean’s actual talent.

Because let’s face it, in terms of the attraction between them inviting Dean into Castiel’s home had been a terrible idea. Dean’s crush is obviously only intensifying and Castiel is scared to say he’s starting to feel similarly affected.

He tells himself it’s the many layers of Dean’s personality that intrigues him and it is in a way but that doesn’t explain why he can’t seem to help but gravitate towards the young man. For example, there’s really no reason for Castiel to sit so close when they’re together on Castiel’s couch, Dean tentatively playing the guitar under Castiel’s gentle direction.

No reason for him to adjust Dean’s grip by touching the boy’s hand, no reason for him to put a hand on Dean’s knee when he does exceptionally well. No reason for him to let his hand linger on the teen’s shoulder as they part at the door at the end of each session.

He’s leading Dean on and it’s wrong.

He _knows_ Dean’s interested in him, he can see it in Dean’s body language and hear it in his voice. And most _definitely_ see the hunger in Dean’s eyes sometimes when Dean doesn’t think Castiel’s watching.

It almost scares him how much he’s started to like it when Dean looks at him like that. Students have looked at him with desire before, Pam is right about that. But it’s never felt like anything but perhaps a minor annoyance.

And this whole thing with Dean started out like that as well. Just an observation that he would have to tread gently around the teen but then he goddamn invited Dean to his home and what the hell was he even thinking? Dean’s gaze makes Castiel feel powerful and, lately, aroused.

Castiel is definitely treading the line between helpful teacher and creepy child predator but the more time he spends with Dean, watching his beautiful smile and listening to him talk about his hopes and dreams the harder it gets to remember why that line is important.

 

 

Thanksgiving come and go and Castiel should be happy to get a reprieve from Dean’s company but he misses the boy terribly and that, if nothing else, is proof enough for him that he needs to stay away.

Instead he spends the short break with Pam, Ash, and Gabriel. Michael visits on the day after and Castiel has a quiet dinner with him and Gabriel where Michael updates the two of them on what the rest of the family is doing. They invite Michael to spend the rest of the weekend with them but he declines because he wants to spend it with his fiancée. All in all it’s nice.

And Castiel _really_ misses Dean. He gets a text telling him to have a happy holiday and he responds to that but other than that they don’t speak because why would they? They’re just teacher and student after all.

Castiel hooks up on the Thanksgiving party they go to and he goes home with a little twink, fucking him hard and long and leaves with a phone number and a strange kind of numbness he hasn’t felt before. He hasn’t had that many one-night stands before but the few he’s had have always felt great. Like the best kind of stress relief.

Pam remarks that his spirits seem dampened but he brushes her off and before they talk again the holiday’s over and Castiel sees Dean again. The change in his whole being as he first spots Dean is palpable and if he didn’t know better he would say the teen feels the same thing.

They meet in the hallway outside Castiel’s classroom and Dean practically beams at him. They barely get to say two words to each other before Dean is swept away by his friends but Castiel spends the whole day feeling reinvigorated anyway.

And then he spends most of that evening berating himself because what the actual hell?

He has yet another spectacular wet dream about Dean that night and wakes up all shaky, knowing this is going to go nowhere but south if he doesn’t do something about it. But what that would be is another question. Quit their guitar lessons is the first thing that comes to mind. Perhaps make Dean quit the music club as well.

But just thinking about how sad that would make Dean makes Castiel’s throat close up. No, he will just have to tough it out. At least stop touching the kid and perhaps act a little aloof, scare him off with indifference.

Too bad it’s damn near impossible to stay indifferent around Dean when the boy is nothing short of amazing.

At the end of their second guitar lesson after Thanksgiving, Pam comes to visit. Dean’s gone to the bathroom as he often does after their lessons and Castiel’s in the kitchen making himself a snack when she walks in through the kitchen door.

“Make one for me too?” she asks cheerily when she sees his sandwich and Castiel simply hands her his before starting a new one for himself.

He had been thinking about asking Dean if he wanted something to eat but now he definitely won’t do it. He shouldn’t keep Dean and he should be pushing him away but damn it’s hard. He should feel lucky that Pam came over now and stopped him from doing something stupid but instead all he feels is disappointment.

“What are you doing here?” he asks as he slabs mayonnaise on his ham sandwich.

“It’s a matinée tonight.”

“I told you I have guitar lessons on Thursdays.”

“Yeah but,” she licks her lips free of excess mayo and puts down her sandwich. “You’ve been gloomy for a while now, Cas, and I thought this would cheer you up. Besides, your lesson’s over now, right?” she glances up at the clock on the wall and Castiel winces because he knows it’s showing about ten past eight.

“It just ended.”

“Just _now_?”

Castiel winces again and he refuses to meet her eyes. So far he’s managed to keep that specific detail about their lessons from everyone else but he supposes that the truth has to come out at some point.

“Mr. N?”

Castiel and Pam turn to the kitchen door to see Dean standing there, looking at them with an unreadable expression.

“Dean.” Castiel all but exclaims and feels guilty in a weird way, as if he and Pam had been doing something indecent. “Are you going?”

“Yeah.” Dean says slowly and looks at Pam with almost calculating eyes.

“Hi.” She says and Castiel knows her well enough to hear that that’s her fake polite voice and he gets it. The whole situation feels weird. “I’m Pam.”

“Dean.” Dean mutters and turns back to Castiel before she can continue the conversation. “I’m out, see you tomorrow Mr. N.”

They won’t see each other tomorrow other than perhaps in the hallway so Castiel doesn’t know why Dean said it like that. In any case, Dean leaves with that and for the first time since they started these lessons Castiel doesn’t walk Dean to the door. It doesn’t sit well with him and he thinks the sound of the front door slamming shut is a little louder than usual.

Pam waits another minute in silence before she turns to Castiel.

“A couple of months ago I asked you about Dean. About climbing him like a tree if he was older.”

Castiel clears his throat awkwardly and fiddles with his abandoned sandwich. “You did.”

“When you told me that you were going to tutor a student you didn’t tell me that it was Dean.”

“I didn’t think it mattered.”

She turns more bodily towards him and grabs his arm. “ _Does_ it matter?”

Castiel closes his eyes and leans his hands on the counter, hanging his head in defeat, because yes. It matters a whole lot.

“I want _him_ to climb _me_.” He says in a rasp. “And I know he wants it too. I need help.”

Pam moves in and hugs him awkwardly from the side. “How bad is it?”

Bad enough for him to ask for help, for Christ’s sake.

“I’ve been feeling down all Thanksgiving because I couldn’t see him. He makes me feel so…” he shakes his head, letting all the bundled up emotions loose. It overwhelms him and he has to shake his head again. “I wish he was older.”

Pam makes a consoling sound and turns him so that they can hug better. “It’s okay, honey.” She mumbles and strokes his hair. He feels ashamed for his emotional outburst, however controlled he kept it. “The age of consent is 16.”

He groans and rolls out of the hug. “Don’t goddamn encourage me, I’m barely holding it together as it is.”

She shrugs. “Just saying what the law says. He’s willing, isn’t he?”

 _“He sure seems to be.”_ Castiel thinks as he remembers Dean’s longing, and hungry, looks.

“He’s also my student.” Castiel says, squinting at her because he doesn’t want to acknowledge how good those looks make him feel. “The age of consent is 16 as long as the aggressor isn’t in a position of power. Which you _know_ I am in this case.”

“Someone’s done their homework.” She grins and his squint intensifies.

“You’re way too relaxed about this. How much have you been hanging out with Gabe behind my back?”

This, to his immense surprise, makes her blush and look away. Pam. Blushing.

“A bit.” She mutters and holds up a hand when he opens his mouth. “But that’s for later, okay? If I don’t judge you for this thing with Dean you don’t get to goddamn judge me about fucking your cousin’s brains out.”

“Too much information.” He hisses and then leans back against the counter, massaging his temples. “But fine, you’ve got a point. What do I do about Dean?”

“Tell him.”

“No.” He can’t, can he? He kind of wants too, though, because Pam’s casual attitude is making it harder for him to remember why he shouldn’t want Dean the way he does and like the teen obviously wants him.

She flicks his forehead with a finger. “Tell. Him.”

Castiel is starting to feel like he wants to and it’s also starting to feel like he should. And yes, the law in Kansas does says the age of consent is 16 and it doesn’t make Castiel’s resolve any easier to keep. In any case he probably should tell Dean that he’s developed an unhealthy attachment to the teen and that they should stop meeting privately because God knows Castiel’s playing with his control enough as it is. Or maybe he should tell the boy that he knows about Dean’s emotions for him and that that is reason enough for them to stop hanging out alone? That sounds more accusing but at least it’s less encouraging. Either one will probably work.

Yes, let’s forget this encouraging conversation with Pam and tell Dean they shouldn’t meet anymore. Castiel is almost certain he’s doing the right thing. Almost.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is _the_ chapter ;)  
>  Also, the next chapter will be the last chapter, if I don't end up writing a smoochy epilogue (I'm probably writing a smoochy epilogue)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in for the last official chapter, folks! Prepare for sex, guilt, denial, and more sex, not necessarily in that order (but in that order). Hope you’ll like the conclusion and thank you very much for reading :) 
> 
> Also (I love y’all so goddamn much!), a smoochy epilogue will be posted no later than Saturday <3

 

 

Dean is quiet and reserved the next time they meet for their weekly guitar lessons and Castiel knows it’s his fault somehow. Having made up his mind to talk to Dean about them not meeting anymore he must have inadvertently acted differently towards the teen during the week. Dean didn’t even speak to him during the music club today and Castiel has spent the hour between then and now dreading that Dean wouldn’t show up.

But he did, though he’s sullen and when they sit down on the couch Dean doesn’t even reach for the guitar case that Castiel’s put on the coffee table as usual.

“Dean,” Castiel starts after a moment, feeling uncharacteristically short of words.

“Who was that woman?” Dean asks then, his words clipped and without meeting Castiel’s eyes.

Castiel has to think for a moment to understand what Dean means. “Pam? She’s my best friend.”

“Best friend?” Dean asks, his tone cautious but a bit softer. Castiel smiles when Dean turns his head to look at him.

“Yes. Even people my age have best friends you know.”

Dean doesn’t laugh at Castiel’s sad attempt at joking and Castiel’s stomach feels full of worms.

“She was standing very close.” Dean mumbles to his knees and while Castiel hadn’t been aware of that because that’s just how he and Pam are — there is a lot of skinship between them, nothing more — he suddenly understands why Dean is asking.

“Dean.” He says gently and sits closer on the couch, reaching out to take one of Dean’s hands. The boy looks at him with wide eyes and Castiel likes the look probably more than he should. “I think it’s about time we talk about this thing between us.”

“Th-thing?” Dean stutters but at least doesn’t pull away.

Castiel tilts his head to the side and looks at Dean with soft eyes. “I’ve been aware for a while now that you harbor attraction for me and I do find myself drawn to you but I think we can both agree that we can’t—”

He gets interrupted when Dean grabs his shirt and hauls him in for a hard kiss. Castiel’s obviously not prepared for it and he all but falls on Dean, their teeth clacking and lips getting smashed uncomfortably.

Except the comfort is far from his mind because holy hell, he’s _kissing Dean_. And it feels _amazing_. Dean groans deeply, sending a pleasurable chill down Castiel’s spine and he can’t stop himself before he’s cupping Dean’s jaw and turning the boy’s head to deepen the kiss.

He easily takes control and with the new angle they melt together perfectly, their tongues snaking out to taste each other. It’s so goddamn in synch that Castiel feels like all other kisses he’s had before have merely been practice for this.

Dean fists his shirt, tugging a little, and when he nips at Castiel’s lower lip with a little keening whimper Castiel’s mind all but short-circuits. He licks deeper into Dean’s mouth, pressing until the boy falls on his back, Castiel between his open legs.

He puts one hand in Dean’s hair while he grabs Dean’s outer thigh with the other, hauling the boy’s leg over his hip so that their crotches line up. Dean moans deeply when their dicks drag together and Castiel feels a jolt of desire at how hard Dean already is for him.

Dean has his hands on Castiel’s shoulders and he’s hugging the older man for dear life, rolling his hips in the pace Castiel sets. Their bodies work marvelously together and Castiel’s jeans grow too tight too fast.

Their breaths are ragged when they break off kissing and Castiel buries his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, kissing and nipping the boy gently.

“Fuck yeah.” Dean gasps. “Fuck it feels so good, Cas.”

 _Cas_. Dean hasn’t called him that once before and the fact that he does it now, during this, should perhaps make Castiel pause but all it does is make his arousal spike. Dean, being so familiar with him, being under him like this, _writhing_ under him like this, it’s intoxicating.

“You too, baby.” He groans. “I know I shouldn’t but I want you so much, _too_ much.”

Dean’s breathing hiccups and it’s hard to tell if it’s because of the endearment or the confession. His dick jumps against Castiel’s, though, and is enough of a distraction that Castiel doesn’t dwell on the hiccup.

“I’m gonna come.” Dean almost whines and Castiel delights in dragging such sounds out of someone like Dean.

Castiel might refer to him as “the boy” but Dean’s actually kind of big. He’s still shorter than Castiel but he probably won’t be for long. And he’s bulky from all that football, he would most probably be able to throw Castiel off if he wanted to and the fact that he doesn’t is an incredible turn-on for Castiel.

“You come for me, baby.” Castiel all but growls against Dean’s ear. “Want to feel you. Want to feel my good boy come hard for me.”

“Oh _fuck_.” Dean exclaims and throws his head back. “Fuck me, Cas.”

“Yeah? You want that?” God, Castiel wants it too, his dam has broken and he doesn’t even want to try and fix it. His dick is hard and straining in his jeans, thick precome leaking out of him and staining his clothes. He hopes Dean can feel it but doubts it with their frantic movements. “Do you want me inside you?”

Dean makes that hiccupping sound again and Castiel can’t stop himself from licking over Dean’s Adam’s apple, up and under his jaw. He gathers his knees closer to Dean’s rump and starts thrusting harder against the boy, more intently.

“Y-yeah.” Dean moans prettily. “Yeah, just like this.”

Castiel hums in agreement and then bends over to kiss Dean again, deep and hard, mimicking their fucking. Dean’s whole body locks up under him and he can feel the boy coming seconds later. Castiel’s dick twitches in sympathy but he halts his thrusting to a grind to help Dean through his orgasm at a more comfortable pace.

Dean curls himself around Castiel and makes beautiful little breathless sounds as he empties inside his pants, his whole body taut. Castiel kisses Dean’s cheek and neck all throughout and can’t help but revel in the boy’s scent. His own orgasm is teetering just there but for now he feels more than content to just hold Dean.

“Holy shit.” Dean eventually groans and goes pliant in Castiel’s arms. Castiel can’t help but chuckle at the astonishment in the boy’s voice. “I’ve never come that hard before.”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment.” Castiel says with a smile and disentangles himself from Dean to sit back. His dick is incredibly hard and it kind of hurts to be trapped in his jeans but he ignores it for now, just quickly adjusting himself.

“Why only with you?”

Castiel looks up and meets Dean’s eyes, sees the desire that’s still darkening those vibrantly green eyes. It makes him gulp as a fresh wave of arousal surges through him, making his dick jump. He can feel his need to claim like a tingle low in his spine and he licks his lips, just thinking about it.

“What?”

“All those times when I was dating Lisa, and that one time with my childhood friend Jo before she moved out of town, I could barely get hard. Only…” Dean flicks his eyes down to Castiel’s very obvious erection. “Only with you.”

“Are you saying you’re a virgin?” it shouldn’t, but it definitely makes Castiel’s arousal flare hotter.

Dean looks ashamed all of a sudden. “Yeah.” He mumbles and looks away. “It’s that obvious, huh?”

One of Castiel’s hands fall on Dean’s knee, massaging slightly as he cups his dick with the other hand.

“It’s not.” He mumbles and looks at Dean with hooded eyes. “And I like it. I—”

He stops himself when Dean looks at him with raw desire because _what the hell are they doing?!_

He removes his hands with great difficulty and stands up on shaky legs, takes a step back from the couch when Dean sits up, a confused frown on his handsome face.

“Cas?”

“No.” Castiel shakes his head, dragging a hand over his mouth. “No, fuck, we shouldn’t have done this. _I_ shouldn’t have done this.” He feels like he’s trying to repair his broken dam with a few strings of duct tape but damn, he needs to fix it, right?

Dean’s frown turns displeased. “What are you talking about? Why not?”

“Why haven’t you made a move in all this time?” Castiel says, turning the question on Dean and trying to keep his voice reasonable. “I know you’ve been attracted to me for months.”

This makes Dean blush and look away. “Because I didn’t think you’d ever want to. You haven’t acknowledged how I feel so I thought that you were just waiting for it to pass. ‘M not the first kid to have a crush on you.” His face is beet red and Castiel wants to compliment him on his honesty, especially since he’s come to understand that Dean seldom is honest with himself.

“I haven’t acknowledged it partially because I _was_ hoping for it to pass but mostly because I started to get attracted to you as well.” Castiel almost wants to shy away from Dean’s incredulous stare. “It’s never happened to me before, that I’ve been interested in a student. It’s… inappropriate.”

“Yeah.” Dean looks down again. “Yeah I get that.”

“But you kissed me anyway.”

“And you responded.” Dean says defensively, not answering Castiel’s unspoken question. Still, what he says is true and Castiel feels not nearly as guilty about it as he thinks he should.

He sits down on the couch again, once more taking Dean’s hand in his. “Dean, I wasn’t lying, I want you very much. If you were just a little bit older and not my student I would tie you to the bed and milk you for hours.” Dean looks appropriately shocked and it steels Castiel’s resolve. He smiles kindly and squeezes Dean’s hand. “But you _are_ my student and what’s more, you’re a child. I can’t undo what I did to you on this couch and I don’t exactly regret it because that was _exquisite._ ”

Dean blushes again but his eyes also turn dark with fresh desire. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Castiel cups Dean’s jaw, brushing his thumb over the boy’s plump lips. “But even so we can’t continue this, do you understand?”

Dean gulps and for a second it looks like his eyes are about to fill with tears but then he blinks and the moment’s gone.

“Yeah.” He says again, this time in a determined rasp. “Yeah I get it.”

He leaves not much later and Castiel tries to believe himself when he says that he did the right thing, even if he was a bit too late. But as he lies in his bed that night, remembering how Dean had felt beneath him he can’t help but think that he’s being an idiot.

 

* * *

 

 

Dean is miserable.

He understands very well why Mr. Novak— _Cas_ said what he said and Dean agrees in a way. Because Cas is older than him and a teacher it could get him in a lot of trouble if they try to have a relationship so yeah, Dean gets that.

But that doesn’t stop him from wanting to see the man. Wanting to touch him, sure, but mostly just hanging out with him. They come to a mutual, mute agreement that their guitar lessons are cancelled from now on and Dean almost misses that more than he misses the few heated kisses he managed to snag.

Hanging out, listening to Cas talk about his interests, smelling the man up close. All those little things are what used to make Dean happy and now he can’t even have that. He shouldn’t have kissed Cas. Sure, he’s wanted to do that for like forever and it was the best he’s ever felt but if the price is Cas’ company then Dean doesn’t want it.

Yeah, that’s right. Dean would rather just be friends with Cas and hang out with him than having sex with him, if he has to choose. He’s just so fucking gone over the man it’s ridiculous. Sam even said he was worried about Dean during those first few days after his and Cas’ talk.

But Dean’s nothing if not scrappy and he knows very well to hide his real emotions so he does what he does best and compartmentalizes. Desire and love are shoved way down into a corner and Dean throws himself into football instead.

It’s the right thing to do, surely. Cas said they shouldn’t continue whatever it was between them and Dean’s anyhow in the middle of the football season. Alastair’s come back to school but Coach Singer hasn’t allowed him back on the team so Dean’s still there, doing his best to command players who has no qualm about talking trash about him off field.

Most of them are fine with him since he’s actually pulling his weight on the field, but some players either think he’s a pussy for choosing to go to the music club instead of taking the suspension like a man or they’re Alastair’s friends and blame him for getting Alastair suspended. It’s a tight rope to walk since Dean doesn’t want another fight but so far the team’s playing better than they’ve done in a long time and Coach Singer has nothing but praise for Dean’s performance as captain.

Things at home are fine too. Dad’s gotten over the fact that Dean has to be in the music club and Dean thinks that’s got to do with the football team’s latest wins, which Coach Singer gave Dean too much credit for. Dean hasn’t told dad that he’s stopped going to Cas on Thursdays and sometimes it feels like dad doesn’t even notice what time Dean comes and goes.

He’s still in the music club and that’s kind of awkward, though. Cas tries his best to make Dean feel comfortable but all it does is make Dean love the man more fiercely and just as he thinks he’s gotten all his desire safely tucked away it’ll flare up at inopportune moments.

It was one thing that he usually had to jerk off in Cas’ bathroom before going home after their guitar lessons but it’s another thing entirely when he gets hard in school. There’s no privacy there and Dean anyhow doesn’t want to jerk off in a stall smelling of stale piss.

He manages well enough, though, and all in all most of the semester passes slowly but surely. Football going well, school in general going well, Lisa still hating Dean but at least staying away, his old football friends if not shunning him then at least acting bored with him, his new friends through the music club inviting him to fun evenings.

And Dean is miserable without Cas and feels alone because he doesn’t feel like he can talk to anyone about this, not without jeopardizing Cas’ job.

 

 

One night, when the longing has gotten too hard, he ends up lying on his back in bed, lazily stroking his dick and watching porn on his phone with the sound muted. Watching man-on-man sex it looks kind of uncomfortable but when Dean remembers the feeling of Cas thrusting against him Dean’s whole body flushes with arousal so he thinks it’s probably one of those things you have to experience to know how it feels.

The couple on the screen is doing it doggy style and Dean tries to imagine himself in the bottom position, Cas standing on all fours behind him and pounding him hard in the ass. His dick twitches as he leaks a lot of precome. Thinking back he’s kind of embarrassed at how fast he came with Cas but he’s also not that surprised.

Whenever Dean jerks off thinking about the older man he comes faster than he usually does. And the fact that he hasn’t really been hard together with anyone else is a big clue for Dean. But okay, he likes Cas, that’s already established, what Dean wants to know is if he’s gay. Like, gay in general or just gay for Cas.

Because he can’t have Cas, can he? So he needs to figure out if he can have someone else instead.

These thoughts combined with the porn smack dab in his face of course just makes him think about Cas again and his dick twitches once more. He rolls his foreskin lazily up and down over the swollen head, thinking about what it would feel like to have Cas suck him off.

Cas has such pretty lips, it’s almost unfair for a man. Dean’s read somewhere that the color of a man’s lips is the same as the color of his dick’s head and he wonders if that’s true for Cas. He’s compared his lips to his dickhead but hasn’t been able to conclude anything but fuck, if it _is_ true then Cas’ dick is gonna be all pink and pretty.

That Dean’s able to think about a dick as pretty is probably a clue for him that he likes dick in general but he doesn’t reflect on that now. Not when the bottom on his phone is coming in long, white stripes. Dean spreads his legs and starts fucking his fist as he jumps back in the video to see it again, wishing that he could have the sound on.

“Fuck.” He hisses as he watches the guy come again, all over the sheets beneath him. He’s really coming from getting it up the ass. Dean’s so fucking curious about that it’s not even funny.

He watches the guy come one more time before shutting down the video and putting his phone to the side. He slows his stroking almost to a stop and turns on his side, reaching behind himself to brush over his hole.

It’s dusty dry and Dean’s not really interested in touching himself there. But what if Cas would touch him instead? Dean bites his lower lip to hide a whimpered moan. He’s kind of embarrassed over his sounds but Cas had seemed to like them so he tries not to be.

Instead he probes at his hole, knowing he should use lube if he really wants to try something. He’s content where he is for now, though. Stroking his leaking dick, squeezing his balls and popping the pad on one finger against his twitching hole.

“Cas.” He whispers against his pillow, hiding his face as best he can. “Want you.”

Just admitting it makes a surge of pleasure go through him and it almost feels like his finger gets sucked inside his ass. Dean’s eyes fly open when he feels the tip of his finger inside and he presses more without even thinking about it.

It burns and makes him feel full and wrong in all the right ways and his dick suddenly feels ready to explode.

 _Cas_ could do this to him. _Cas_ could have his deft fingers inside Dean, softening him up, making him loose enough to fit _Cas’_ dick.

“Oh fuck, _fuck_.” Dean stutters on an exhale and comes all over his hand and the bed. He wriggles back and forth between his hands, feeling his hole milk his finger and imagining what that would feel like for Cas. How that would make Cas sound.

Yes, this whole getting-over-Cas thing is going _great_.

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel groans as his hand flies over his dick, slick with both lube and precome. He’s sitting in front of his computer at home, underwear and sweats tucked under his balls, creating wonderful pressure on his taint as he jerks his dick furiously.

He should have known that once he kissed Dean he would be hooked. The way the teen had sounded and tasted had just been too good and Castiel can’t even get off to his favorite pornos anymore. He has a few channels that he’s been subscribing to for a while but none of them compare even to the memory of Dean.

Seeing him at school is torture. Mainly because Dean is extremely good at hiding his feelings and it’s almost hurtful when the teen won’t even look at Castiel but also because he knows Dean well enough now to see the minute signs that tell him Dean still longs for him. And Castiel yearns to comfort the boy.

He has definitely gone from mentor to friend to someone who wants to be Dean’s lover and it hurts that he can’t have it. He wants to hold Dean and praise him the way he knows the boy wants and needs him to and he wishes they had continued with the guitar lessons. If nothing else it would have been nice to keep in touch and stay in each other’s company.

But it would just be like putting kindling on a fire he needs to douse and if Castiel is honest he’s getting a little scared of his own reactions. Because now, every time he sees Dean, all he can think about is what they shared on his couch.

Teaching with Dean around isn’t difficult only because it makes him sad to see Dean so shut off but also because he finds himself getting aroused at inappropriate times.

His breathing grows ragged as his strokes quicken when he remembers Dean from earlier today. He had been taking a walk with Hannah, the Math teacher, during lunch and he had seen Dean out in the quad. He had been sitting with Kevin Tran and Charlie Bradbury and had been laughing about something Charlie was talking about. And he had looked beautiful.

Beautiful and carefree and perfect. It had made both Castiel’s heart and dick twitch to see that big smile on Dean’s usually pretty reserved face.

Now, though, it only shoots straight to Castiel’s hard dick. He squeezes his eyes shut and recalls images of Dean beneath him, panting and begging for him. God, Dean had looked perfect like that. Perfect for Castiel and his greedy hands.

His balls draw up tight and he groans again, grinding his teeth together as he feels his orgasm gather low in his abdomen. His thighs twitch and then he’s coming hard, hot come splashing up on his T-shirt as he gasps pathetically, only barely managing not to call out Dean’s name. Perfect, just perfect.

 

 

It’s about two weeks later that Castiel’s resolve finally breaks. Dean’s been giving him smoldering stares for a few days now and Castiel thinks the boy isn’t even aware of it.

Last week had been an important week in the high school football related world and Dean had excelled out there on the field. Castiel isn’t sure but he thinks Lawrence High is either winning or close to winning the season. He’s not certain how football seasons work but in either case he saw Coach Singer smile for the first time in months so he had gathered that it had been good.

So he had been up there on the bleachers, freezing his ass off and listening to Gabriel complaining about the cold during the whole game and afterwards he had cheered probably more than was normal as their team was running off field. And Dean had seen him.

And yes, he had been cheering for Dean, not the team because Castiel doesn’t care about football. But the boy hadn’t known that and yet he had looked at Castiel with such adoration that Castiel still feels flushed just thinking about it. He shouldn’t have gone to the game, that was for sure. It only encouraged this thing between them that he’s trying to avoid.

But he had wanted to see Dean and maybe he had wanted Dean to see him supporting him as well. And he had, good. That didn’t explain the gazes Dean has been giving him ever since, eyes dark with desire so delicious Castiel wants nothing more than to reach out and taste it.

And holy hell how he wants it. But it needs to stop, for the both of them. Castiel’s job is at stake, not to mention that he can go to jail. And for Dean it’s his whole future. He’s a top student, a great athlete and a generally likable person, he’s got the world at his feet and yet he’s gotten hooked on Castiel’s sad ass and Castiel won’t have it. He won’t allow Dean to throw away his time pining for someone like Castiel.

Yes, that’s sound logic, right? Right.

Actually, it’s _so_ sound that it makes Castiel’s resolve break and he ends up approaching Dean at the end of the Friday the week after the game.

Dean looks a little startled when Castiel comes up to him by his locker and Castiel’s sick mind enjoys that. Dean always looks a bit surprised that Castiel even wants to talk to him and Castiel’s missed it during these two weeks.

“Mr. N.” Dean mumbles and Castiel immediately misses Dean calling him Cas.

“Dean, I need to talk to you. Preferably in my office right now, if that would be okay with you?” he’s holding a bunch of papers and they’ve got nothing to do with any of this but he raises them anyway, making it look like he wants to talk about whatever he’s holding.

Dean eyes the papers and that dangerously adorable wrinkle appears between his eyebrows.

“Sure.”

The papers are a way to divert attention of all the bystanders around them but Castiel also lets Dean think they’ve got to do with him for now. He turns and hopes Dean follows through the throngs of students making themselves ready to leave for the weekend.

Castiel holds up the door to his office and when Dean steps past him Castiel can’t help but scent him and goddamn, why does he smell even better than before?

“What’re those?”

Castiel’s head jerks up when Dean speaks and he sees the boy eyeing the papers. He sighs, closes the door and tosses the papers on his desk, raking a hand through his hair forcefully.

“Nothing. Sheet music for the Christmas play.”

“Oh.” Dean’s chewing on his bottom lip when Castiel looks at him and it’s making everything even more difficult. “Are you mad at me?”

“Mad?” never, Castiel feels like he could _never_ get mad at Dean. He steps closer even though he shouldn’t. “Dean, I’m…” he doesn’t know what he is but Dean looks sad and it makes his train of thought derail. “How are you?”

Dean’s eyes are almost pleading and the smile he tries on slips away so fast Castiel’s heart sinks.

“I’m fine. It’s… I’m fine.”

“Dean.” Castiel steps even closer and knows it’s a bad decision. Dean smells delicious and the way he looks at Castiel is making his crotch tingle inappropriately. “I’m sorry all this happened. I can’t bear to see you sad.”

“‘M not sad.” Dean mumbles. He’s actually gravitating towards Castiel and Castiel’s fingers twitch. “Are you?”

“I’m… something.”

Dean looks him straight in the eyes and the dejection he had seen a moment ago is replaced by flaring desire, the kind that Castiel wanted to talk about to begin with. Because Dean can’t be looking at Castiel like that and not expect him to jump him.

“I’m horny.” Dean deadpans, advancing on Castiel with sudden determination, as if he’s glimpsed the yearning Castiel so desperately is trying to contain. “This is stupid, Cas. We both want this and I _know_ we shouldn’t but we do. It feels wrong to try and deny it.”

Castiel rakes a hand through his hair, trying to find his resolve once again but it’s difficult with Dean staring at him with such ferocity and raw desire.

“You’re right.” He says, his voice shaking with barely contained lust but also trepidation. “You’re right but we…” Castiel’s whole body is screaming at him to take Dean, to take what the boy is offering and treasure it dearly.

“Cas I swear to fucking everything, we _can_ make this work. I want you so much I can hardly think.” Dean’s voice is rising in his arousal, coming to a pitch that makes Castiel’s whole body jolt with need to comfort and pleasure the boy. “I want you to hold me, touch me, _fuck me_. I can’t hold—”

He’s interrupted when Castiel all but flies over him. Dean’s backpack slips off his shoulder and the boy moans prettily into the heated kiss, immediately wrapping his arms around Castiel’s neck even as Castiel wraps his arms around Dean’s body, reeling him in.

“I can’t stand it, Dean.” Castiel groans when they pull back to breathe. “I need you so much. I thought it was just that I wanted to help you shine but I need more. I need everything.”

“Cas.” Dean whines and rubs his whole body against Castiel’s. The boy’s already hard and his face is flushed and everything is just so goddamn urgent and _pretty_ that Castiel feels fit to burst already.

“Yes, baby, I’m here for you.” He twirls them around and pushes Dean to sit on his desk so he can open the boy’s legs and slot between them.

Dean moans openly again and pulls Castiel in for another kiss. And damn, Dean is good at kissing. He clearly wants Castiel to take control of it but he uses his tongue cleverly, riling Castiel up with the possibilities that flow through his mind as Dean coaxes Castiel to practically fuck his mouth with his tongue.

He grabs Dean’s short hair and pulls the boy’s head back, deepening the kiss as he gropes Dean’s ass with his other hand. Dean is pulling on Castiel’s shirt, up and out of his slacks so the boy can get his hands underneath. And fuck, when Dean starts kneading Castiel’s back Castiel can’t help but bucking his hips against Dean’s in a slow grind.

“Fuck. Fuck, I want…” Dean’s breathing hitches and he buries his face against Castiel’s neck.

“What do you want, baby?” Castiel coos against Dean’s hair.

Their crotches are smashed together, their grinding not stopping, and Castiel feels Dean’s dick twitching against his, just like last time. And holy hell, he wants to see Dean so much.

“Want you to touch me ‘n stuff.” Dean mumbles, barely audible.

“Oh Dean.” Castiel groans as pleasure ripples through him at the confession. “I want that too, do you trust me?”

Dean pulls out and looks at Castiel with pupils blown wide from arousal. “Yeah.”

Castiel bends in and kisses Dean deeply even as he steps back to start unbuttoning Dean’s jeans. Dean gasps into the kiss and he does his best to help, even though four hands hardly work better than two in this case.

Castiel anyhow manages and the moment he reaches in to pull out Dean’s dick the boy moans so loudly he smacks a hand over his own mouth. He looks at Castiel with wide eyes and even though Castiel _loves_ Dean’s sounds he’s aware of what that look means.

He gives Dean a quick peck on the back of the hand that’s covering his mouth and then he turns to go to the office door, locking it. It’s quiet as a grave outside and Castiel suspects not many people are left in the school building. Even the teachers and janitors tend to leave early on Fridays.

Castiel actually wants to take Dean home instead because they need to talk just as much as they obviously need this and he’s just about to propose this when he turns back to see Dean leaned back against the desk, lazily stroking his dick while staring openly at Castiel’s prominent erection.

Something short-circuits in Castiel and he’s over Dean so fast the boy has time to do nothing but squeak under his breath.

“You look so perfect, baby.” Castiel breathes harshly against Dean’s ear as he spins the boy around, hands on his hips. “So lewd only for me, seducing me with heated stares.”

“Fuck yeah, Cas.” Dean moans and bucks back against Castiel’s dick when Castiel drapes himself over Dean’s back.

Castiel groans deeply and bends Dean over his desk, rolling against the boy’s perfectly round butt. He snakes one hand under Dean, grabbing his dick and Dean practically shoves his whole fist in his mouth to hide his pleasurable scream.

His dick is rock hard and leaking all over Castiel’s hand. Like Castiel, Dean isn’t cut and Castiel enjoys the smooth roll of Dean’s foreskin. In contrast to how he’s touching Dean’s dick, Castiel’s thrusts against his butt grows languid and slow.

“I want to take you home, Dean.” He growls in a rumbling tone, enjoying the rub against his hard dick. “I want to treasure you, want to teach you what good sex means.”

“Yeah.” Dean huffs out. “Yeah, shit I want that too.”

“Are you going to be a good boy and come once for me right now?”

Dean keens and bucks back harshly, his dick swelling in Castiel’s grip. “Your desk.” He presses out between clenched teeth and Castiel chuckles darkly.

“What’s the matter, baby? Don’t want to stain it with your come? Mark it? Mark _me_?”

“Holy shit.” Dean gasps and comes hard, hard enough for Castiel to hear the come splatter against the front of his desk.

“Good.” Castiel rasps. “Very good.”

He wants to hump Dean until he comes against the boy’s tight ass, or he wants to pull down Dean’s jeans and fuck him between his thighs, or he wants to sit in his chair and make Dean grind in his lap. He wants it _all_ and he wants it now.

His breathing is clipped but he strains to make Dean’s orgasm good because more than what he wants, he _needs_ to take care of Dean. Dean thrusts into Castiel’s hand, writhing and whining for a long while and when he eventually slumps down on the desk Castiel is careful to not crush the boy under him.

He straightens, removes his hand and licks it clean. The taste of Dean is fresh and saturated and he groans softly, eyes fluttering close even as he starts grinding his dick against Dean again, slowly and lightly.

“Fucking hell.”

Castiel’s eyes snap open at Dean’s stunned tone and when he meets the boy’s eyes he sees almost surprised arousal in them.

“You like this, baby?” he rumbles, lowering his hands to Dean’s trembling body. “Do you like me cleaning up your messes?”

“Y-yeah.” Dean stutters and turns around when Castiel encourages him to. “Wanna do it for you too.”

This makes Castiel groan almost desperately. His dick is hurting, aching to be free just as his balls are aching to empty themselves. Preferably inside Dean’s body somehow.

“I’d love that, babe.”

“Wanna…” Dean looks incredibly shy and it’s such a turn-on that Castiel has to dive in and kiss him. It lasts longer than he had intended and he ends up humping Dean’s leg when the teen pulls him closer.

“Tell me.”

“Wanna suck you off.”

Goddamn _yes_. Dean’s perfect cupid bow lips wrapped around Castiel’s hard dick? It sounds like heaven.

“I would love nothing more, baby, but are you sure you—?”

Castiel’s breathing catches in his throat when Dean steps around him and drops to his knees, his eyes zeroed in on Castiel’s dick.

“I’m not gonna be good.” He says apologetically under his breath as he reaches up and starts undoing Castiel’s slacks. It’s hard to tell what the best thing about this is: that Dean is on his knees in front of Castiel or that his slightly hard dick is still hanging out of his jeans.

“It’s going to be marvelous.” Castiel says, breathless already.

Dean’s eyes grow large when he’s managed to wrestle Castiel out of his slacks and underwear and he gets a good look of his dick. He swallows visibly but doesn’t look nervous at all. No he looks ravenous and Castiel can’t help but put a hand in the boy’s soft hair, scraping his skull with dull fingernails.

“Someday I want you to fuck my face.” Dean says under his breath and Castiel has to bite his lower lip to prevent an embarrassing sound from escaping.

Before he can think of something clever to say, Dean dives in and swallows Castiel whole. Or, well, as much as he can manage on his first try, which turns out to not be all that much but certainly enough to make Castiel’s hips twitch.

He uses his loose grip on Dean’s hair to pull the boy’s head away when Castiel can’t help but thrust forward. Oh, he wants very much to fuck Dean’s face, just like the boy said, but it’s far too early for that and he doesn’t want to hurt Dean.

Dean, on the other hand, only seems to enjoy having his hair pulled on and his jaw goes slack around Castiel. He looks up at the older man with slightly wet eyes and Castiel feels his pleasure like an almost painful spike down his spine.

“Don’t you worry, Dean.” Castiel pants while he lets his dick slide in and out of Dean’s mouth slowly and shallowly. “I’m done working against this. I thought we— _I_ was doing the right thing denying us this but that was wrong. This,” he pushes as far in as he dares and holds still while Dean tries desperately to swallow with his mouth stuffed full. “This is divine.” He pops out of Dean’s mouth and traces his thumb around the boy’s wet lips. “I want you.”

“I want you too.” Dean rasps, his voice hoarse even from so little. It sends a thrill through Castiel’s body. “I can’t think anymore, Cas. Just need you.”

“Yes.” Castiel agrees. He notices that Dean’s dick is hard again. “We will finish here and then I’ll take you home with me, take care of you.”

Dean nods rapidly and then sucks down Castiel once more. He puts his hands on Castiel’s hips and uses the leverage to start bobbing his head quickly. It feels too good for Castiel not to come and he does so mere moments later, whispering urgently about Dean moving away while the teen’s hands clench on Castiel’s hips, clinging desperately as he swallows everything Castiel feeds him.

Dean pulls away almost too soon but Castiel understands why when the boy starts coughing. It was after all his first time sucking dick and swallowing is not as easy as it seems.

Castiel makes shushing sounds and pulls Dean to his feet, wiping his chin of come and spit and kissing him as soon as Dean’s stopped spluttering. In contrast to all the other kisses of today this one is slow and loving and Dean melts against him, their dicks brushing and sending aftershocks of pleasure through Castiel.

“Don’t push me away again.” Dean says in a tiny voice when they break the kiss off.

Castiel’s heart just about breaks and he cups Dean’s face, leaning his forehead against the boy’s. Dean fists Castiel’s shirt and shifts in place.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” He murmurs lovingly. “I was wrong, and scared. I never want to hurt you but I didn’t know how to deal with this. I could go to jail and I let that fear guide me but now it’s clear that I can’t stand to be without you, even with that threat looming over me.”

Dean makes a keening sound, low at the back of his throat. “I know it’s dangerous for us, for you. But maybe… maybe we don’t have to do stuff like this until I turn 18? Unless… unless this is all you want from me?” Castiel pulls away at those words, regarding Dean as the boy turns his head away, blushing. “I mean, I know I don’t have much else to offer someone like you, so I’d be okay with being your f-fucktoy or whatever.”

“Jesus Christ.” Castiel says under his breath, angry that life has treated Dean in a way that makes him think like this. “Dean, listen to me.” He waits until Dean has shifted his gaze back to Castiel and then he smiles lovingly. “I want _you_. Not as a fuck buddy, I want you as my…” his smile widens when Dean’s eyes grow wide with astonishment. “As my boyfriend, for lack of a better word.”

Live-in boyfriend, lover, fiancé, the list could go on but simply _boyfriend_ works fine for now, Castiel thinks when Dean’s blush brightens and a grin spreads on the boy’s handsome face.

“Yeah?”

“Truly.” Castiel bends in and rubs his lips against Dean’s, feeling the boy’s grip on his shirt tighten. “I want to be your number one and I warn you, I’m quite possessive.”

“I, um,” Dean swallows and steals a quick kiss. “I heard about your boyfriend, the one that got married. I wanna be better.”

The mention of Balthazar doesn’t even sting anymore, not with Dean in Castiel’s arms. That revelation makes Castiel smile.

“Well, as long as you don’t cheat on me I don’t think you can go wrong.”

“Fucking asshole.” Dean mutters. “I want it to be you and me, Cas. Just, um, just you and me.”

“Exclusive?” Castiel asks and enjoys it when Dean blushes again.

“Unless you don’t want to…”

“I just said I’m possessive.” Castiel laughs and steps away to start putting their clothes in order, helping Dean with his dick just to get an excuse to touch him. “And here’s the deal; I want to have sex with you or at least do sex stuff like this, but if you want to wait until—”

“No.” Dean grins shyly when Castiel chuckles. “No, I was just thinking...”

Castiel quiets him by pulling him into another kiss, grabbing his hair. He takes control over it and hauls Dean closer when the boy moans his pretty moan for him.

“Let’s go home and we’ll see what happens, huh? We’ll worry about our situation and responsibilities and other people after we’ve sated our desires.”

“Yeah.” Dean nods, bumping their noses together. “Fuck yeah.”

 

 


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all of you guys' suggestions about how their engagement would happen! I would also like to think that Dean would be the one to take charge of it. All like "just so there aren't any _misunderstandings_ I want your ass, Cas. Put on the ring" and you just know Cas would melt into a puddle of love.  
>  I'd also like to think that John in this verse would eventually accept it, even though he would _hate_ it to begin with because old prejudices are hard to overcome. He'd be at their wedding, though, all grumpy and kept in check by Sam but he'd be there and there'd be no fighting. Ah, what a beautiful wedding it would be  <3
> 
> Anyway, time for some smooch that definitely ended up smuttier than I had intended...  
> Lots of love!

 

 

They decide to keep their relationship under wraps, for obvious reasons. Charlie knows that Dean is still interested in Cas and Cas’ friend Pam knows that Cas is interested in Dean but other than that they don’t really tell people.

Sammy of course figures it out because Sam’s the smartest person Dean knows but it’s okay because Sam’s supportive and helps Dean with mitigating dad. That Dean and Cas decide to mostly meet just for their weekly “History tutoring” helps with their cover too.

Once football season is over, Dean gets more free time and since he doesn’t play another sport, like most of the football teams, he usually spends this time working out. Now he pretends like he’s going to the gym but he’s actually sneaking off to Cas’ about a third of that time. And it’s awesome.

The initial almost desperate desire sated, their sessions together turn more domesticated and Dean loves it. They spend a lot of time just watching movies and eating dinner together. Cas is still teaching Dean the guitar and that’s awesome too. Dean even participated in the Christmas play, in the choir.

Dad doesn’t know about that and Dean plans to never tell him. On the other hand, on the last PTA meeting dad had gone up to Cas to grudgingly thank him for helping Dean with his History grade so that’s always something. Dean was so surprised when Cas told him about that because dad certainly didn’t say anything. But it also gives him hope for the future and even Sammy said it was a good sign.

Other than playing football Dean hardly ever hangs out with his old friends anymore. They give him shit for that off the field but on it they seem to know better than to mouth off at him. It’s partially because he’s got a lot of the seniors on his side and partially because he’s really growing into his role as the captain and even Coach Singer said he’s scholarship material. Dean is fucking stoked about that. If everything goes as he wishes he’s going to KU after high school to study engineering and he’ll move in with Cas instead of the dorms, it’s gonna be awesome and Dean can’t wait.

His 18th birthday passes without a hitch, dad taking them to eat burgers and pecan pie, Dean’s favorite anything. Dean spends his day with his family and then pretends like he’s got a party thrown in his honor by his friends so he can go to Cas’ house for the evening. He even manages to convince dad that he’s spending the night at Kevin’s house and dad doesn’t question this or ask for Kevin’s parent’s contact information because Dean is a _good kid_ who never gets in trouble.

Dean’s so goddam excited that he doesn’t even get embarrassed when Sam gives him condoms as a birthday present and wants to have The Talk with Dean because he suspects what’s going to happen. That Dean and Cas have taken every test possible to be able to comfortably do this raw is something Dean doesn’t mention. But he does end up having The Talk with Sam instead and is almost late for his appointment with Cas, but only almost.

So far they haven’t had actual sex before and he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He’s been shy about it and he thought he was going to spontaneously combust when Cas asked what he wanted for his birthday and Dean burst out _“your dick!”_.

Cas just laughed and said they would see and now here they are, Dean tied to Castiel’s four poster bed, a vibrating plug in his ass, his toes curling every time it vibrates right up against his prostate. His dick is hard and straining, almost flat up against his stomach and leaking so much precome it’s pooled in his bellybutton. He’s got a cockring on, holding his orgasm back and that had been the only thing Dean specifically asked for himself, other than Cas’ dick.

He wants this to last, wants _him_ to last, and with Cas touching him he tends to come way too fast. Not that Cas isn’t amazing at pulling multiple orgasms out of Dean’s pliant body but Dean really loves the desperate feeling he gets when he wears a cockring. To Cas’ delight Dean’s even inquired about cock cages. It’ll come later, though, when Dean’s older and more comfortable in his own skin.

He whines when Cas suddenly shuts off the vibrator.

“How’s my good boy doing?” Cas asks in his rumbling tone and Dean loves it. Loves being a good boy for Cas.

“Wanna come.” He says and his voice sounds garbled. He’s tied to the bed with soft silk ropes and he knows even without looking that his wrists are ruddy from pulling on the ropes. But it’s okay because Cas has salves he will put on Dean’s skin later. Cas always takes care of Dean.

“I know you do, baby.” Cas coos and climbs on the bed.

He’s gloriously naked and Dean admires the man’s whole body, and especially his tattoo. It’s a beautiful phoenix caught in flight, diving down towards Cas’ left hip. When Dean had first seen it he had been mesmerized and Cas had told him that he had chosen a phoenix because no matter what, they will always rise again, stronger than before. Dean thought that sounded cool and when Cas admitted he got it after his and Balthazar’s break-up it made even more sense.

But as much as Dean loves to admire the tattoo his attention is drawn to Cas’ dick in this moment. It’s as hard as Dean’s, leaking slightly at the top. Dean licks his lips as he thinks about sucking off Cas. He doesn’t think he’s very good at it but he likes it very much and Cas always makes the most delicious sounds.

But tonight he has another goal in mind and he wants it so badly he spreads his legs as soon as Cas sits close enough. Cas makes an appreciative sound and reaches down to pluck at the base of the plug. Dean whines and tries to buck down, chasing Cas’ touches but Cas pulls away with a smile.

“Are you okay? It doesn’t hurt?”

It’s definitely the biggest Dean’s ever had in his ass so far — Cas has _a lot_ of toys — but Cas has been very thorough with his prepping and Dean can only nod rapidly as he feels arousal churn throughout his body.

“‘M okay. Want more, want you.”

“Good boy.” Cas murmurs and presses his thumb against the base, fucking Dean extremely shallowly.

“Please, Cas.” Dean whines, knowing Cas is a sucker for when he begs. “Want your big dick, tired of toys. Want _you_ inside me, fucking me so hard I can barely walk. Fucking _please_.”

“God, baby.” Cas groans and Dean feels pleased with himself. He’s still shy in many aspects of their relationship but he knows he’s gotten better at dirty talk. He feels a bit awkward saying all that but Cas has told him he loves to hear it so Dean’s quick to comply. “I’ll take this out, relax for me.”

Dean does so with a wheezy exhale, relaxing back against the bed as the plug slips free. He feels empty inside and wonders what his hole looks like now. Open, probably, and he kind of doesn’t want to see it. But Cas makes a sound as if it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen so that’s encouraging enough.

He wriggles a little on the bed, spreading his legs as far as they go and tries to show off his goods. His dick bobs with the movement and he moans when pleasure zings through him, making his balls practically vibrate.

“Please.” He gasps, thrusting aimlessly up into thin air. “Please fuck me.”

He hears the sound of Cas slicking up his dick and opens his eyes when he realizes he’s closed them. He’s met with Cas looking like the fucking definition of sex as he moves up over Dean’s body, guiding his dick to Dean’s waiting hole with one hand as the other grabs Dean’s hip and holds him still.

“You’re beautiful, baby.” Cas murmurs in his low rumble. “So perfect.”

Dean wants to say something similar back but doesn’t have time when the head of Cas’ dick breaches Dean’s hole. Without the plug stretching him it might have burned but as it is now it’s only a pleasant fullness as Cas presses inside, the way slickened by enough lube and Cas’ precome to make the motion smooth and fluid.

When Cas bottoms out he takes a moment to just stay still, hands massaging Dean’s hips and thighs, his head thrown back as he breathes raggedly. Dean for his part doesn’t know what Cas is waiting for, it feels so fucking insanely good to have Cas inside him that he can’t wait for the man to move.

His dick jumps and spits precome and Dean just knows that he’s moments away from coming, cockring or no cockring.

Cas opens his eyes and meets Dean’s lust filled gaze at the same time as he pulls out and thrusts back in. It makes the whole thing incredibly intimate and Dean can’t look away as Cas slowly increases both speed and force.

Dean feels as if the air in his lungs is being pounded out of him and he realizes that he’s making a continuous keening sound as Cas fucks him into the mattress.

“Cas.” He gasps. “Cas.”

Cas grunts and shifts his weight to lean down over Dean, the new angle making him nail Dean’s prostate and Dean practically wails into the kiss Cas initiates. He feels Cas grin against his mouth but he doesn’t care. It just feels so fucking good, like his dick is being touched from the inside.

And when Cas puts one hand on Dean’s chest to pinch his already hard nipples Dean knows he’s done for.

“Fuck I need to come.” He whimpers pathetically. “Imma come, Cas, I—ah!—I can feel it, feel you…”

“Yes, Dean.” Cas rasps, sounding much more debauched than Dean’s ever heard him. “Let me feel you come.”

Suddenly there’s a hand on Dean’s dick, rolling off the little silicone cockring and Dean’s coming before the thing’s even fully off. Cas makes a surprised sound and is quick to grab Dean’s dick to help him through the rest of it. Dean writhes, his ass clenching hard around Cas as his dick twitches and it feels as if he’s coming again even though it’s impossible.

He wraps his legs around Cas when Cas’ thrusts become short and sharp and when Cas comes Dean feels it inside him, feels how Cas is claiming him from the inside with his hot come. It makes him all gooey and he kisses whatever part of Cas he can reach.

Cas is quick to return the kisses even though it feels as if his lower body has locked up, concentrated on filling Dean with all of him. And Dean wants it, wants all of it.

“Holy fucking shit.” Dean gasps when they’ve calmed down and Cas reaches for the knots around Dean’s wrists. “That was the best anything that’s ever happened ever.”

Cas chuckles and wraps Dean in his strong arms as soon as Dean’s free of his bonds.

“Happy birthday, baby.”

Dean grins and hides his face against Cas’ chest. Happy fuckin birthday indeed.

 

 

 


End file.
